All posts by moonandjess@frontier.com

Stuff we wish was in the Bible (and other stuff we wish wasn’t)

Culture, Politics & Culture, Religion

Sometimes I think we’d be happier if we could (or would) make some serious changes to the bible (or, preferably find someone else to make the necessary changes. Why should we take the wrap if it’s a bad idea?). Some of the changes are obviously no-brainers, like adding “God helps those who help themselves.” I mean, how did that get left out in the first place. I think it’s obviously an editorial error. What kind of God would want to help the helpless? It’s just un-American. George Bernard Shaw once said something along the lines of, “The average Englishman thinks God is an Englishman.” Well, the average Englishman is wrong. God is not English. The English had to imperialize most of the known world just to get something decent to eat. Then, when the rest of the world got around to kicking them out, the English brought all those foreigners home with them, put them on the dole, and gave them health care. Doesn’t sound God-like to me. God is obviously American, and very likely a Southerner (after all, they seem to be about the only ones who REALLY believe anymore.) Just look at the evidence: 1.Try to find a real American (and I mean a REAL American, not one of them commie, sissy liberals) who doesn’t know (not just believe, but know) that Americans are God’s chosen people. 2. We don’t drag all manner of foreigners in here to corrupt our values, take all our good-paying fruit-picking jobs, and overload our welfare system. Hell no! We do everything we can to keep ’em out of here, up to and including building walls hundreds of miles long. And, 3. We’re the best cooks. We really know how to take God’s bounty and make the most of it. Just look around you. How many skinny Americans do you see? Not many, and those that are have to work like maniacs to stay that way. Look at all the poor schmucks out there running, biking, Tai-Boing, Pilates-izing, etc., trying to resist the American way and God’s blessings. It’s really kind of pathetic. Remember, “Whoever tries to save their life will lose it…” It’s right there in the Bible.

Now granted, a lot of the things that make us God’s Chosen People originated in other places, but we improved on them. Everything becomes better once we’ve made it our own. We may get our inspiration from foreigners, but we take care to bring home the ideas and leave the foreigners at home. The Chinese took hundreds of years to build their wall, we should have ours finished in less than a decade or two. The Italians invented pizza, but have you ever had pizza in Italy? It doesn’t even deserve the name pizza. It’s nowhere near the same class as our American pizza, be it Chicago-style or New York, or frozen in a box at the grocery. Look at plumbing. The Romans may have invented it, but have you ever tried the plumbing anywhere else? At it’s best, it’s complicated and confusing, at it’s worst it’s primitive and downright scary. These are just three examples of our superiority. I’m sure any real American could think of dozens more.

But I digress. What I’m getting at is this. We’re innovators. We’re not satisfied to take something as it is. We have a God-given compulsion to improve things. It’s what we’re here for. That’s why I think it’s up to us (or somebody, not necessarily you or me. See the parenthetical comment at the beginning of this post.) to man up and make some important and necessary corrections to the Bible. Some additions I’d like to see are as follows:

1. God helps those who help themselves. Let’s face it, most of us think it’s in there already.

2. A little clarification on how that whole “Hate the sin but love the sinner” thing is supposed to work. The prevailing idea seems to consist of “I love you, and this is why you’re going to hell.” Is that enough, or should we be throwing things at them to make sure they get the point?

3. Something about the right to keep and bear arms. Just having it in the Constitution isn’t cutting it. If God didn’t want us to be armed, then why did he give us so much cool stuff to protect. “I’ll keep my Xbox after I pry it from your cold, dead fingers. God Bless.”

There also are some things that need to be condensed, heavily edited, or removed altogether.

1. “For the love of money is the root of all evil.” Yikes! How’d that get in there? If we don’t have money to keep score, how are we going to know who God loves the most? Besides, haven’t we sanctified our money by putting God on it? If you think about it, isn’t spending money just another way of witnessing? Isn’t accumulation of money just another way of keeping God close to our hearts? Maybe it’s talking about foreign money.

2. Everything Jesus said. Now before you panic, I’m not saying we should take it all out. Obviously, whipping the money-changers out of the temple needs to stay. Beating up bad guys is something we can all get behind (also, it could be seen as an indictment of the evils of foreign money. See, it’s all starting to come together.) The whole Son of God thing is cool, as is the dying for the forgiveness of our sins, but have you ever read the stuff he said? A lot of it is just downright un-American. I know, I know, you’re thinking Son of God, infallible, etc., but think about it. Would a Christian God really say that stuff? Look how much of it is completely counter to conventional Christian wisdom. Even his words are printed in RED. You know what else is red? Communism. So, since we’ve already established that God is an American, I think it’s far more likely that Jesus’ words, as represented in the Bible are much more likely to be the result of an either accidental or intentional bad translation. Maybe a Franciscan editor? We may never know how it happened. It’s enough to know we can fix it.

At any rate, you get the idea. Feel free to use the comments section below to suggest other changes. I’m sure there are lots of areas open to improvement and good old American innovation. Enjoy!

Death By Grippo’s – There are definitely worse was to go!

All About Me, Home Life, Wives

I think I may have poisoned myself. My guts are wrecked, and it’s not safe for me to be more than a short run to the bathroom (and if you’ve ever seen me run, you know how short a distance that is). My poor wife, the lovely and talented Jess, is suffering as well. She’s not poisoned, just suffering from being in proximity to me. Jess is normally very sympathetic and caring about the state of my health (much more so than I am), but after being subjected to the miasma of fetid air that’s been following me for the last 3 or 4 days, vented not only from the usual suspects, but seemingly from my very pores as well, she doesn’t seem much inclined to feel one bit sorry for me, or even concerned really, which seems a bit unfair, considering that it’s really all her fault. For Christmas, she got me a box of Grippo’s. She wrapped it up and put it under the tree. On Christmas Eve, we went to church, and when we got home, Harry (her dog) had dug it out, gnawed through the wrapping paper and the box, and eaten virtually the entire contents. It was a very disappointing Christmas for me. I blame Jess because, if she had shown the proper regard for Harry’s voracity, I would have had to share the box with holiday company. At any rate, I found myself obsessing about the lost Grippo’s ever since, and since I had to drive right by Marsh grocery store (the only place in town that carries Grippo’s, for some inexplicable reason) to pick up my granddaughter, I caved in and picked up a box.

The fact that they are the only chips I’ve ever seen that are sold in a box says something about Grippo’s BBQ potato chips. Of course, they are available in the traditional bag, but those are only for the weak at heart, the dabblers in exhilarating flavor. For the true aficionado, there is no substitute for the box. When I was in the Air Force, I was frequently deployed to Kuwait, Turkey, and sundry other uncivilized places. My mother got in the habit of sending me a box of Grippo’s as a care package. I made the mistake early on of inviting some of my friends to try them, as none of them had ever heard of these delightful deep-fried and seasoned-to-perfection crunchy slices of heaven. Their first hesitant bites quickly turned into a piranha-like feeding frenzy, and, in a matter of minutes, left me once again, Grippo-less. After that, I learned to have Mom send me two boxes, one to share and one to hoard.

The superiority of the boxed Grippo’s as opposed to the bagged, is two-fold. For the most part, it is merely a matter of quantity. The boxed chips do seem to have somewhat more seasoning on them, but not significantly. It is the sheer increase in quantity that attracts the novice to the box. The true Grippo’s freak is drawn to the box for an entirely different reason. At the bottom of every box lies, like buried treasure, the true appeal of the box. It is the fine mixture of crushed chips and raw Grippo’s seasoning powder that has settled to the bottom, like gold at the bottom of a river. It is delicious and highly addictive. I call it the Grippo Crack. There are few gustatory joys equal to that of dipping a wet finger into that delicious, delectable sandy-red powder, and then licking that finger clean (Your own, of course, using someone else’s would just be gross).

Therein lies the peril of the Grippo’s overdose from which I’m currently suffering. Although I actually eat less at a single sitting than I used to (this box took me 4 days to eat. It used to only take 2.), now that I’ve gotten older and apparently frailer (digestively anyway), I apparently just can’t handle them. The chips themselves did sufficient damage, but on day 4, I got stuck into the Grippo Crack. It is impossible to summon the willpower necessary to stop at a mere 2-3 finger dips. It would be like trying to eat 1/2 of a fun-size (and by the way, who came up with that stupid name? A true fun-size candy bar would weigh at least a pound.) Hershey bar. It can’t be done, or at least can’t be done without an overwhelming sense of your own inadequacy and despair. No, once you’re on the Grippo Crack, you’re on it ’til the sweet, tangy end. It’s an immoral imperative. The only real downside, other than the physical effects of eating 1/2 a pound of crushed chips and seasoning, is that it doesn’t last. Sooner or later, you run out, and, as soon as your guts recover, start planning to get your next fix.

I blame Jess for my current state of ill health because, if she had shown the proper regard for Harry’s voracity, I would have had to share the box with holiday company. Since she was so careless, I had this one all to myself. Sometimes I think she’s trying to kill me.

Fortunately, we’re leaving soon to visit my brother in Florida. It would just be rude not to take him a couple of boxes, since he can’t get them down there. You know how I hates to be rude. Jess is gonna kill me.

By the way, if you haven’t experienced the ambrosiac flavor and majestic burn of the Grippo’s BBQ potato chip, you owe it to yourself to try them. You can thank me later. Check them out at www.grippos.com.

 

Let Them Eat Donna Reed: Family Values As A Diversion

Politics, Politics & Culture

Here’s another paper I wrote last semester. Enjoy!

Let Them Eat Donna Reed:

Family Values As A Diversionary Tactic.

               America is in terrible shape. We cannot even keep our government open. Our economy seems to be perpetually on the brink of collapse. Unemployment rates are high. We have been at war with terror for 12 years and counting. We have been at war with drugs for even longer. Our industrial base is being eroded by overseas competition. What are the reasons for our current predicament? Right-wing politicians, pundits, preachers and those who aspire to leadership want us to believe that it is the fault of the government, the unions, the gays, the Muslims, the single mothers, and the “takers” in society who are getting rich ripping off the welfare system. They would have us believe that we need to return to those good old family values represented in our collective sub-conscious by The Donna Reed Show and host of others like it, and our problems will fix themselves. By embracing and promoting the myth of the Donna Reed American family, politicians and religious leaders have manufactured an unimpeachable moral high ground that solidifies their power base while effectively hampering efforts to cure the societal ills that they bemoan.

          Historically speaking, the stay-at-home mom is a largely a myth. To be sure, there have always been some women who were just homemakers, but they were in the minority, and usually in the middle to upper class. Poor women have always been major contributors to the family income, either through conventional employment in the work-place, or through under-the-table cottage industries, like providing child care in their homes for other working mothers, and manufacturing food and goods for their families to stretch the cash a little bit further. In fact, founding father Alexander Hamilton recommended women and children as cheap sources of labor in his 1791 report on manufacturing (Leckie, 2013). Not until the progressive movement of the early 20th century were many real steps taken to protect the working man, let alone working women and children, from blatant exploitation. National tragedies like the Homestead Strike in 1892 (Foner, pp 629-631), and the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire in 1911 (Foner, pp 672-674) gave Progressive reformers the impetus to enact legislation restricting working hours, child labor, and unfair business practices, establishing work-place safety standards, minimum wages, unemployment insurance, a graduated income tax, and many other things that we now take for granted, like women’s suffrage, and the right to unionize (Foner 629-712). Although the power of the working class has ebbed and flowed, the times of greatest prosperity have been proceeded by further empowerment of the working class. However, today’s crop of family values advocates would have us believe that only unrestricted business can restore our economy. Government restrictions and regulations are presented as the enemy of prosperity and freedom. They conveniently ignore the fact that “We the People” are (or at least are supposed to be) the government.

          One advantage of taking a simple (or simplified) stance on complex issues is that a simple rebuttal requires your opponent to at least appear to endorse what you stand against, and vice versa. Thus, liberals seem to be saying that abortion is good, and the “traditional American family’ is bad. When they try to explain their often quite reasonable views, liberals appear wishy-washy, unsure of themselves and their arguments, because articulating their views is necessarily more complex. To quote Manhattan Institute researcher Kay Hymowitz on the subject of non-traditional families, “Even if you’re just neutral on the subject, you are still saying it’s basically fine, that it’s of no importance difference whether a child grows up with a father or not” (Green, 2013).

          Another advantage of the simple, conservative approach is that the simple approach appeals to personal justice, while the more complex, liberal approach appeals to societal fairness. To conservatives, if a teenager is pregnant and unwed, it is because she cannot keep her legs together, and she is only getting what she deserves. The fault is hers. To liberals, while most would agree that abstinence would have been a good policy, the reasons for her pregnancy stem from many things entirely beyond her control, i.e. poverty, lack of education, social marginalization, and the hopelessness that accompanies these things. The fault, in many ways, lies with all of us. To most of us, societal causes are many-faceted and hard to understand, while personal justice is simple. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time is a philosophy that most of us understand and agree with.

          Yet another advantage is that it is able to rely on public perception and popular beliefs rather than cold hard facts. Warnings of a takeover of America by gays, Muslims and immigrants appeal to the feelings of insecurity that we all feel in this post 9/11 era. For example, Gallup polls have found that Americans think that homosexuals make up 25% of the population (Franke-Ruta, 2012). This is reinforced by the constant news coverage of gay issues, from political battles to gay pride parades, as well as the rapidly expanding numbers in homosexual-based programming and homosexual characters in TV shows and movies. The prevalent sensationalism, particularly in news coverage, from political hyperbole to the images of homosexuals parading down the streets dressed in outlandish and often disturbingly revealing costumes, ramps up the tension and insecurity even more. These days, everyone is much more aware of homosexuality than they were even 20 years ago. The fact is that homosexuals (and bisexuals) make up only about 5% of the population (Franke-Ruta), a much less intimidating number, but one that flies in the face of public perception.

          It also appeals to Americans’ vision of ourselves and our nation. We see ourselves as moral, hard-working, independent-minded people who do not need government or anyone else to take care of us. All we need is a chance to get in the game, and an even playing field, and we will be fine. Dependence on government hand-outs will turn us all into slaves. We just need the government to get out of our way. The fact that most of us are living paycheck to paycheck, one car accident or illness away from destitution does not seem to enter into our thinking, politically speaking. The thought that, “There, but for the grace of God, go I” seems to be forgotten.

          Finally, it is tactically sound. Choose the battleground, entrench yourself on the high ground, and make your enemies come to you. It worked for Lee at Fredericksburg during the Civil War, and it works for politicians today. For example, a right-wing pundit can say abortion is bad. Even moderate conservatives will agree with him. The problem for liberals is that even they basically agree with him. They generally see it as a necessary evil, or the best of two bad choices. Even most the ardent pro-choice advocates usually see it as a matter of women’s rights, not as a good thing in and of itself. Thus, the left is hobbled by seemingly vacillating, morally untenable, and therefore weak, positions.

          In conclusion, by diverting people’s attention with “Family Values” the conservative right have managed to focus that attention on issues, rather than on the people affected by those issues. It is a tried-and-true political tactic that is often effective, but not without its risks in the face of rising support for reform. In the face of similar drives for reform, Marie Antoinette said, “Let them eat cake,” and look how that ended for her. In a time when even the Pope advocates a shift in focus from rules and dogma to concern for people (Spadaro, 2013), it may become even more dangerous.    


 

References

Foner, E. (2012). Give me liberty! : An American history (3rd edition, Vol. 2). (pp. 629-

          712). New York, NY: W.W. Norton & Company.

Franke-Ruta, G. (2012, May). Americans Have No Idea How Few Gay People There

Are. The Atlantic. Retrieved from http://www.theatlantic.com/

Green, E. (2013, July). Why Is It Hard for Liberals to Talk About Family Values’? :

Racial tensions, a fear appearing judgemental, and the sexual revolution…?

The Atlantic. Retrieved from http://www.theatlantic.com/

Leckie, S. (no date available). Women in the Workplace: A History. The Labor Site.com

          Retrieved from http://www.thelaborsite.com/

Spadaro, A. (2013, September). A Big Heart Open to God. America: The National

Catholic Review. Retrieved from http://www.americamagazine.org/

We Support Our Troops, But What Does That Really Mean?

Politics, Politics & Culture

I hear a lot of people who say they support our troops, and I believe them. You see lots of yellow ribbons on cars everywhere you go. My church, like a lot of churches, holds our veterans in high esteem, and constantly remembers those currently serving in our prayers. On Facebook, there’s a constant stream of pro-military videos and posts. I have no doubt in my mind that Americans overwhelmingly support our troops.

The feeling is reciprocated by the troops. They love our country. They are willing to submit to hardships and dangers that can really only be understood by someone who has served. Many face danger and death daily, not only in combat zones, but in hazardous training missions designed to prepare them for combat.

In 1998, 12 members of the 66th Rescue Squadron were killed in a training accident. The 2 helicopters they were in collided, killing everyone on board. Like everyone else in the squadron, I was devastated. The accident investigation found that a primary cause of the accident was basically stress and exhaustion caused by constant combat deployments. I was extremely angry at the time, and am still angry. I do have to say that I don’t believe any of the guys who were killed would be. They worked hard, and they flew hard. They all loved their jobs, and recognized and accepted the risks they were asked to take. The Rescue motto is “That Others May Live”, and they believed in that. They died doing something they loved, for a country they loved. They were some of the best and bravest men I’ve ever had the privilege to know.

That said, however, it was then, as it is now, my belief that their deaths were unnecessary, and imminently avoidable. The strongest men and the best pilot will make mistakes when pushed too hard and too far, and now, as then, we as a country push too hard and ask too much. We have been at war constantly for 13 years now. Our troops have been used and abused in 2 concurrent wars that were ill-conceived, if not just plain stupid. I don’t know what other options we had, but I feel sure there had to be better options than this. Our troops deserve better than to just be thrown at problems because our leaders lack the imagination or intelligence to find other solutions. They deserve better than to be battered, beaten, and broken in the service of our country at the whim of politicians and lobbyists who benefit from our troops’ sacrifices at no risk to themselves.

The men and women in our armed forces are willing to die for us. I think that if we really, truly support them, then the least we can do is to try to make sure that when they do, that it’s worth it. We have the best military in the world, manned by the best men and women this country has to offer. We owe it to them to use them properly, respecting them enough to not ask them to make those sacrifices unnecessarily, and making sure that when they come home, they get the support they deserve, not just platitudes and lip service.

Supporting our troops has to be more than just putting a sticker on a car, or praying for them. We do that much for a high school football team. We’ve got to let those in leadership know how we expect them to lead. We’ve got to get over the “Kill ’em all and let God sort ’em out” mindset that we’ve adopted over the last 50 years or so. The cost of war is high. We’ve got to do everything we can to make sure that those who pay that cost don’t do it in vain.

Thinking About The Problem With College

Culture, Politics & Culture

I started my freshman year of college last fall. It scared the crap out of me. It had been 30 years since I’d gone to school, and although I was pretty sure I was fairly smart, I wasn’t sure at all that I’d be able to do well in an academic atmosphere. It was so bad that, for the first month or so, I was having panic attacks in the parking lot, walking to class. Part of it was that I was just afraid I was too old. I knew that I was going to be a great deal older than the other students, but I didn’t realize I was going to be a good bit older than some of the professors. To my surprise, I found that my age actually helped. I was able to make connections between the classes that the kids in the class couldn’t make. It also didn’t hurt that I’d been alive for about 1/3 of the time period covered by my American History class (although that is kind of a double-edged sword).

Obviously, age is not the biggest problem with college. Neither are most of the things that I thought would be a problem. A smoke-free campus is really just an inconvenience, plus I get to feel like a rebel committing an act of civil disobedience while I hide beside my truck to sneak a smoke (that, of course, is on a good day. On a bad day, I feel like a 12-year old, hiding out from mom. Frankly, it’s a little embarrassing). Neither are the fears about being too conservative (old?) to deal with the liberal academic bias that I’ve always heard about. I would have to say that there is definitely some liberal bias (although, let’s face it, it’s basically a community college in Indiana. How liberal could it really be?), but not as much as I had feared. Of course, it probably helps that I’m one of the few people I’ve ever known who have become more liberal as they grew older, a trait which I attribute to learning I was so wrong about so many things (I’ve often thought that I should go into Meteorology. I’ve been wrong for free all my life. I’d like to lose my amateur standing and try getting paid for it). It gets harder to condemn others when you’ve proven yourself a foolish jackass as routinely, and publicly,as I have. At the very least, the liberal bias has given me a lot to think about.

And so I come to what, I’ve found, is the biggest problem with college. They actually expect you to think about stuff. It’s really kind of weird. If I remember correctly (and that’s a big if), in high school, they pretty much actively discouraged thinking. Any sign of actual thought process on the part of a student really seemed to worry them. The object of grade school and high school seemed to be pretty birdlike. The teachers would chew the information up into mush and try to barf it directly into our brains, and then we were expected to barf it back up on the test. It wasn’t learning so much as memorizing. College seems to be more like a buffet. The teachers throw it out there, and you’re expected to figure out what to do with it. Half the time, it seems, they don’t even care what you do with it. Take my science class for example. It’s basically “science for English majors”, so it’s pretty basic stuff. Every week, there are chapters in the textbook we’re supposed to read, & on friday, we meet in class for a lecture. We’re coming up on the middle of the semester, and the professor has yet to talk about anything covered in the textbook. On the other hand, he has made me think a lot about sciencey stuff, as well as think about why I have always thought this way about sciencey stuff. Now obviously, the last sentence alone proves that I’m no better at science now than I was in high school, but at least I’m thinking, which is something that I, like most Americans, am extremely uncomfortable with.

We like to give the appearance of thought, we even like to think that we’re thinking, but most of the time it seems apparent, if you really think about it, that we’re not really thinking at all. All most of us are doing is the same thing that we did in high school, barfing back up the same pre-packaged thoughts that have been barfed into our brains by our parents, our churches, our friends, and especially the media. Now I’m not saying that all of the stuff we got from those sources is useless or wrong (especially the stuff we got from our folks, and, to a lesser extent our churches), but I am saying that it could all benefit from some actual thought, especially the stuff we get from the media. Look at the “news” you pay attention to. Is it biased? Of course it is. Does the bias lean toward your own natural inclinations? I’ll bet it does. Now the actual news is pretty much the same across all the channels. You get the same basic information from the 6:00 news whether you watch Fox, MSNBC, CBS, etc. But when we talk about the news, a lot of the time, we find ourselves talking not about the news, but what Bill O’Reilly, or Glenn Beck, or Rachel Maddow, or John Stewart have to say about the news, and how right they are, and how much we agree with them. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I get most of my news from The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. I can’t help it, I like a good laugh with my daily dose of depression. In my defense, however, I will say that I don’t believe everything they say, or even agree with them much of the time. I’m also somewhat embarrassed to admit that frequently Bill O’Reilly says something that strikes a chord with me. What both John Stewart and Bill O’Reilly do is give me stuff to think about, and not just whether I agree or disagree with them, but why I think that way.

So, like I said, I think the biggest problem with college is that they expect you to think. From what I’ve seen, the biggest problem with college students is that they (like most Americans, or people in general, for that matter), is that they don’t want to think. Most of the complaints I’ve heard from other students is that the professors are not telling us exactly what we need to do. We seem to want the professors to just barf facts into our brains so we can memorize them, barf them back up, and get a degree and a career with a Fortune 500 company (or at least a manager’s position at Radio Shack). Of course, judging by all the kids I see looking at the Facebook and shopping online during classes, some of us don’t even want to think that much.

Of course, I may be wrong (it’s happened before). What do you think?

We Want a John Wayne Jesus

Culture, Politics & Culture, Religion

I think it’s probably hard to be a Christian in America, maybe harder than anywhere else on earth. I don’t mean more dangerous, because there is probably no place on earth less dangerous (physically anyway) to be a Christian. We’ve just been too blessed. All over the world, there are Christians who are being seriously persecuted – being beaten, tortured, imprisoned, and killed for being Christian. I mean, how are we supposed to compete with that? We’re Americans. We’re supposed to be #1. Don’t get me wrong, we certainly try, having our little hissy fits because some liberal wants to take “In God We Trust” off of our money, or because somebody wants to take away the 10 Commandments plaque from our courthouse, or because someone doesn’t like our Christmas decorations, but let’s face it, these things just don’t cut the mustard in the persecution sweepstakes. It’s kind of embarrassing, really. I think we need a bold new interpretation of Jesus, one that fits the American mold better. Jesus himself said, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” If that’s not a ringing endorsement of Sam Colt’s six-gun, the gun that made America great, I don’t know what is. A lot of times though, he sounded distinctly un-American. All that stuff about giving your stuff away to help the poor, and the meek inheriting the earth, what’s that all about? You’d think he didn’t want us to shoot people who want our stuff. Let’s face it, if he really knew what he was talking about, we’d hear a lot more about what he said in church. He’s supposed to be the basis of our faith, he’s the Christ in Christian, so why are 75-80% of our sermons based on the old testament (particularly the “smiting” bits. We do like the smiting), or what Paul and the Disciples had to say about what he said?

We’re Americans. That old, mushy Jesus may be ok for all those Socialists in Europe and Canada, with their health care and gun control, but that’s not the way we roll, and we must be doing things right. Why else would God bless us so abundantly, and let all those other Christians in other parts of the world suffer so terribly? God wants us to have our guns, just as many as we can hold. How else are we going to protect all our stuff? It’s all stuff that God has given us, right? Aggressively defending it is just good stewardship. Besides, if we really wanted to help those foreign Christians, we should stop sending them food and money. We should be sending them guns. God and guns are what made America great, there’s no reason why it shouldn’t do the trick for them. God wants us to make our own way in the world, and if some can’t keep up, well then, they need to get right with God first, and then maybe they’ll get help, or better yet, they won’t need help. God wants us to stick our thumb in the eye of the Government every time it gets to thinking it can stick its nose into our business (or if we’re industrious enough, businesses). Who does the Government think they are anyway? I mean, who put them in positions of authority?

What we as Americans want, and deserve, is a John Wayne Jesus. One who’s fair, but realizes that “some people” just don’t belong, that there are some people you just can’t help. One who’s generous and kind, but not afraid to open a can of whup-ass on those who deserve it. A Jesus who’s tough, and believes in tough love. A Jesus who’ll make sure that we all get exactly what we’ve got coming to us.

Breaking News! I’m a preachy jerk (but no film at 11)

Politics & Culture, Religion

I have discovered that I am (or at least have a tendency toward being) a preachy jerk. Granted, my wife, my kids, and any number of my friends could (and have) pointed this out, but, I’ve finally figured it out for myself. Frankly, I’m a little disappointed in myself that it’s taken me this long to really realize it. I pride myself on being an at least fairly smart guy, and fairly aware of my own shortcomings, but to reach this age without being cognizant (one easy way to spot people who think they’re smart is watch for big words like cognizant) of this glaring deficiency in my own character is a little embarrassing.

For two or three days now, I’ve been trying to write a couple of different posts dealing, at least nominally, with religion. One was about how many people think they know what God wants, expects, or means, when Jesus’ own disciples lived with him, talked with him, and listened to him for what, three years, and still had trouble understanding what he was talking about. If you read the gospels, and give the disciples silly British accents, many of their exchanges with Jesus sound like a Monty Python sketch. Another post was about the merits of losers, and was based on much the same material (with lots of examples from the old testament thrown in).

I found, as I was writing, that I kept sounding more and more preachy. In fact, I was really starting to sound like all those schmucks and chuckleheads who are so sure they’ve got it right. Even more aggravating was that I kept preaching against saying “I know what God wants”, rather than preaching for saying, “I don’t really know what God wants, but I’m going to do my best to understand and please him anyway,” which was the whole point of the posts. Why is it so much easier (and fun) to preach against things than for better things?

I’m not saying that we can’t understand the bible (although there are honestly a lot of parts that I can’t seem to get my head around), but rather that we (particularly the royal “we”) should keep in mind our (royal “our”) own fallibility, and not rely too heavily on our own limited understanding. I (the royal “we” joke is getting a little old already. It probably wasn’t that funny to begin with) should keep in mind that, as much trouble as the disciples seemed to have understanding the most basic concepts of what Jesus was saying, how much chance have I really got?

I take some comfort in the fact that I don’t seem to be the only one with a propensity for preachiness, and that I at least have the common sense to post my opinions here where, let’s face it, I’m probably the only one who’s ever going to see it, rather than searching out cameras and microphones, podiums and pulpits from which to inflict my pompous views on the public.

Sorry if this seemed a little preachy.

6 Cool Places/Things To See If You Ever Go To Ireland

Travel

I love Ireland. I’ve been there 3 times now (I’m not bragging, but…OK, I’m bragging), and I plan to go back as soon as I can. There’s a lot to love about it. Guinness (it tastes much better over there), Jameson’s Whiskey (tastes the same, but who cares?), friendly people, live music in pubs, beautiful scenery, the greenest green you’ve ever seen, and so much cool stuff. Here are a few of my favorites:

 

The Dolmen - Just one of the cool things at Blarney Castle
The Dolmen – Just one of the cool things at Blarney Castle
Blarney Castle - Northeast of Cork
Blarney Castle – Northeast of Cork
Another part of the grounds
Another part of the grounds

Blarney Castle – It’s a little touristy (OK, a lot touristy), but it is a really cool castle ruin, and the grounds and gardens are beautiful.

The Cliffs of Moher
The Cliffs of Moher
The trail along the non-tourist part of the cliffs
The trail along the non-tourist part of the cliffs
The Cliffs of Moher
The Cliffs of Moher

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The Cliffs of Moher – Amazing scenery. Really no other way to describe them. Just amazing.

Small lake hidden above pull-out on Conor Pass.
Small lake hidden above pull-out on Conor Pass.
The view from above the pull-out at Conor Pass.
The view from above the pull-out at Conor Pass.

Conor Pass – On Dingle Peninsula, west coast of Ireland. Once again, amazing views, especially if you hit it on a sunny day. There’s a pull-out on the east side of the pass. Park there and climb up the mountain, there’s a small lake hidden in a bowl up there. It’s not too bad a climb if you’re reasonably careful. Be careful on the drive over the pass and down to the village of Dingle. It’s very windy, and a one-lane road for much of the way (not one lane going each way, one lane period), and often foggy, but a beautiful and fun drive.

The Abbey's fishing cottage.
The Abbey’s fishing cottage.
Shot of the riverbank
Shot of the riverbank
Pat Cohan's bar
Pat Cohan’s bar
The church where John Wayne is accused of playing "patty-fingers" with Maureen O'hara in the holy water
The church where John Wayne is accused of playing “patty-fingers” with Maureen O’hara in the holy water
The Rev. Mr. Playfair's cottage.
The Rev. Mr. Playfair’s cottage.
My wife, the lovely and talented Jess, on the abbey grounds
My wife, the lovely and talented Jess, on the abbey grounds
In the cemetary in the abbey's ruins
In the cemetary in the abbey’s ruins

Cong – A quaint little village. Most famous for being the village where Director John Ford shot the exteriors for the John Wayne classic, The Quiet Man. The entire village seems to make its living from that movie. There are Quiet Man Walking Tours, at least two Quiet Man gift shops, a Quiet Man museum, etc. It’s a must-see if you’re a fan of the movie, but even if you’re not (and if you’re not there’s obviously something wrong with you), it’s a lovely little village with lots to see.

The Connemara coastline
The Connemara coastline
Mam Cross
Mam Cross
Mam Cross (west of Cong)
Mam Cross (west of Cong)

The Connemara Loop – A beautiful drive, even better if you stop frequently, get out of the car, do a little light climbing, and look around.

Slea Head Drive
Slea Head Drive
Slea Head Drive
Slea Head Drive
Drombeg Prehistoric Stone Fort on Slea Head Drive.
Drombeg Prehistoric Stone Fort on Slea Head Drive.
Slea Head Drive
Slea Head Drive

Slea Head Drive – Another beautiful drive around (if I’m not mistaken) the westernmost point of Europe. The loop starts in the village of Dingle.

Of course, these are just a few of the amazing things to see in Ireland. If you ever get a chance to go, don’t pass it up.

I need a 12-year old! – OK, that just sounds wrong

Home Life, Kids & Grandkids

So, I’m messing with this blog thing. All the stuff I’ve read about blogging talks about how easy it is. I disagree vehemently. Maybe it’s easy if you know what you’re doing, but most things are that way. The dashboard for this thing has more buttons and indicators than my car, and I can barely remember how to turn the lights on. Remember the good old days, when there was a knob? It was easy. Want the lights on? Pull the knob. Want them off? Push the knob in. Now, every time I try to turn the lights on, instead of illumination, I get windshield wipers. I want the wipers on, suddenly I’m driving in the dark. I want to hook something new to my TV to make my life more enjoyable, I’ve got to get my kids or grandkids over to make it work. It’s not like I’m old either. I mean, OK, I’m no spring chicken, but still. And the technology just keeps advancing faster and faster. I remember when my family got our first TV with a remote. It was the “clicker” type, you’d push a lever and it would click and change the channel, or the other lever would change the volume. It was all based on tone. My brother and I had lots of fun tormenting my dad, once we figured out that if you tapped a spoon against a plate just right, you could change the channel. We’d hide in the stairwell when Dad was watching a race or game, and change the channel on him. He would just lose his mind, because you couldn’t just go to the channel you wanted, you had to go through all of them.

I guess now I’m paying the price for that fun, because I can’t seem to make anything work. I’m beginning to think there’s a profitable business in renting out kids to follow technology-impaired adults like me around, turning on lights, making computers work, etc. Any entrepeneurially minded teenagers out there might want to think about that. Of course, teenagers would also do well not to laugh at us too much. At the rate technology is advancing, they’re going to have to hire a whole team of kids by the time they’re my age.

Better Than Sex: Selling Fear For Fun and Profit

Politics, Politics & Culture

This is a version of a paper I wrote for school. Hope it makes you think.

               Everyone knows that sex sells. It has been used to sell just about everything imaginable, from cars, cigars, and beer to political aspirations (would Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman be so successful on the national stage if they weren’t attractive?). As effective as it is though, it can only really be considered, at best, the number two selling tactic, for the simple reason that it lacks the universality of the number one tactic, fear. Not everyone can be motivated by lust. The very young and the very old, at least, are practically immune to it. Everyone, however, is capable of fear. Sex is also very subjective (what trips one persons’ trigger may not do anything for the next person), and therefore much less psychologically contagious than fear. Fears are much more commonly shared across all demographics. Through fear, people can be motivated to act, not only irrationally, but in ways that are counter to their own self-interest, both personally and societally. People with something to sell, whether it is cosmetics, male enhancement products, or national security know this, and are ever ready to make the most of it.

          President Franklin D. Roosevelt (1933) once said, “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Randy Newman, in his song, “A Few Words in Defense of Our Country”, (2008) added, “Now it seems like we’re supposed to be afraid. It’s patriotic in fact, and color coded.” Fear has been used to motivate us since the beginning of time. To keep this fairly short though, I’ll restrict myself to American history. From the time of the Salem Witch trials, through the present, we have never run short of people and things to be afraid of, both nationally (Indians, Yankees, Confederates, Blacks, immigrants, Germans, Japanese, Russians, Cubans, Mexicans, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Communists, Fascists, hippies, conservatives, liberals, voter fraud, unions, nukes, our own government, etc.), and personally (gays, women’s lib., pedophiles, too many guns, not enough guns, the clergy, serial killers, surveillance, welfare exploitation, ourselves because we’re not thin enough, sexy enough, virile enough, smart enough, or rich enough, and everybody that is not just like us.). That is okay, though, because there is always someone who has the answer, and so we get sold diet pills, masculine enhancements, plastic surgery, reservations, internment camps, backyard bomb shelters, gated communities, home owners’ associations, proposals for voter restrictions, armed guards and metal detectors in schools, computer software, home security systems, drones, wars, and Guantanamo Bay.

          Arguably, the biggest beneficiary of our fears is the defense industry. As long ago as 1961, President Dwight D. Eisenhower warned of the dangers posed to our freedoms from the military industrial complex. He stated, “This conjunction of an immense military establishment, and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence – economic, political, even spiritual – is felt in every city, every State house, every office of the Federal government …We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes.” This from the man who rode his successes as Allied Supreme Commander in WWII, U.S. Army Chief of Staff, and NATO Supreme Commander into the white house in 1953. In the same speech, he warned of, “The prospect of domination of the nation’s scholars by Federal employment, project allocation, and the power of money…we must also be alert to the equal and opposite danger that public policy could itself become the captive of a scientific-technological elite.” In this modern era, the defense, science, and technology fields are so intrinsically intertwined as to pose a double threat to our freedoms and way of life without actually seeming to make us any safer. They never seem to eliminate any of the things that we fear, and often seem to just make things worse. Just as the 1960 U-2 incident caused further strains on U.S.-Soviet relations, can there be any doubt that the current spate of surveillance of foreign leaders has damaged the security of our nation? Have the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq made us any safer?

          It is not just about international threats, either. In these days of cyber-espionage, and cyber-wars, anyone with a computer is considered a threat. In his column on data security, Robert Cringely (2013) writes, “Here’s the genius of this new threat: every country, every company, every technically smart individual can be seen as presenting a cyber threat ….The threat of cyber warfare will drive defense and intelligence spending for the next half-century. It will never be conquered, nor do the warriors really even want that to happen since their livelihoods would go away.” It causes concern, not just because of the possible, if not inevitable, violations of our civil rights, but because, face it, surveilling most of us is a complete waste of time and resources. It is hard to imagine anything more fruitless or pointless than listening to the conversations or reading the e-mails of 99 percent of all Americans. We are just not that interesting, let alone threat-ening. Monitoring our internet usage would be far more depressing and disturbing than anything else. One has to wonder how many NSA analysts have been driven to madness by the sheer quantity of pornography and cute kitten videos they are exposed to.

          Possibly even more disturbing than government surveillance is commercial surveillance, but we all seem to be okay with that. For the sake of saving a few pennies, we join grocery clubs, fuel clubs, etc., happily swiping away with our loyalty cards, knowing full well that information on our purchases is being stored, monitored and analyzed so that corporations can target us with deals tailored to our every need, want, and desire. The very inefficiency of government provides some degree of comfort. Not so with corporations. If money is speech, as the Supreme Court would have us believe, then there is far more to be learned about us and our lives by what we buy than what we say. We all talk a lot of nonsense, but we spend our money on what matters to us. If information is power, then corporations have the means to exercise far more power over us than the government ever will, and from more cynical and sinister motives. But it is okay with us, because we just saved 5₵ on a gallon of gas.

          In these days, when opinions are presented as facts, and propaganda is indistinguishable from news, everyone from advertisers to preachers to pundits are ready, willing, and able to capitalize on our every fear and insecurity. If, for some reason, we are not afraid of something, they are happy to supply us with a multitude of reasons why we should be, as well as some new book, program, product, weapon system or candidate to alleviate our newfound fear.

          We pride ourselves on being “The Land of the Free, and the Home of the Brave”, but are we really? If we are so brave, then what are we so afraid of? At what cost do we allow others to pander to, and manipulate, our fears?  Maybe what we need to do is teach ourselves to face up to our fears on our own. Take a little time to examine each fear and ask ourselves, “Is this really something I should be afraid of, and if so, is the solution offered worth the cost?” There are lots of scary things out there, and many genuine dangers. There always have been, and there always will be. All we can do is accept that, and face them as they come. It is ironic that for years we have been spouting the mantra, “If we give in to fear, then the terrorists win,” and then we flock to the sellers of terror for protection. We spend 20% of our federal budget on defense, and 3% on transportation infrastructure, 2% on education, and 2% on science and medical research. (Plumer, 2013). We keep getting better and better at killing people, but not so much at taking care of people. Maybe we need to take a long, hard look at our priorities, and ask ourselves if maybe they don’t need some major adjustments. Or maybe we just need to grow up and stop screaming like little girls at a slumber party every time Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck, Rachel Maddow, Sarah Palin, or any of the other panic-mongers on either side of the political fence tell us a scary story.


 

References

Cringely, R. (2013, August). Eisenhower, Snowden, and the military industrial complex.

Retrieved from http://www.cringely.com/2013/08/14/eisenhower-snowden-and-the-military-industrial-complex/

Eisenhower, D. (n.d.). Transcript of President Dwight D. Eisenhower’s Farewell Address

          (1961). Retrieved from http://www.ourdocuments.gov/doc.php?doc=90&page=

          transcript/

Newman, R. (2008). A Few Words in Defense of Our Country. Retrieved from

          http://randynewman.com/category/music/albums/

Plumer, B. (2013, January 7). America’s staggering defense budget, in charts.

          Washington Post. Retrieved from http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/

          wonkblog/wp /2013/01/07/

Roosevelt, F. (n.d.) “Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself”: FDR’s First Inaugural

          Address. Retrieved from http://historymatters.gmu.edu/d/5057/