Category Archives: Politics

A Few Thoughts On: The Dakota Pipelines

February 9, 2017Culture, Politics, Politics & CultureDAPL, fossil fuels, Keystone Pipeline, oil spills, petroleum, pollution, renewable energymoonandjess@frontier.com

As you may have noticed (or may not have), I haven’t posted anything in awhile. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to: I have. There really are just two reasons why I haven’t.

Reason #1: I’m working on a book. It’s a satire that looks at the U.S.A. in about 200 years, based on my own extrapolation of the worst-case scenario springing from a Trump presidency. It is a LOT of fun to write.

Reason #2: I’ve just been too pissed off. I find it kind of hard to be funny or thoughtful when I’m angry and, while I would dearly love to just come unglued here and just really cut loose, that’s not what I want this blog to be about. I’m not here to make you angry, not here to start a fight. I’m here to try to make you laugh, and/or make you think. While there are people who are really good at venting entertainingly, generally it seems they end up just venting to the choir which, while entertaining, isn’t really very productive.

Anyway, that’s why this blog is called Moonsthoughts, instead of Moonsrants.

But enough of that. Today, someone asked me what I think about the Dakota pipelines so, like it or not, I’m gonna tell you.

I’m against them: vehemently against them, and for much the same reasons I’m against fracking, and drilling for oil in National Parks. Because it is stupid, short-sighted, destructive, greedy, and keeps not only us, but the world, reliant on what I think is becoming outdated and obsolete technology that is doing much more harm to the environment than it is benefiting anyone (except the rich, that is).

Point 1.

The Dakota pipelines will run under both the Missouri and the Platte rivers, and through the Oglalla aquifer, all of which are major sources of water in the west. Oil pipelines leak. If the Dakota pipelines leak, which is pretty much inevitable at some point in the future, they could contaminate the drinking water of much of the west. In 2016, there were 297 pipeline incidents deemed “significant”. To be significant, one or more of the following conditions has to be met: https://hip.phmsa.dot.gov/analyticsSOAP/saw.dll?Portalpages

Fatality or injury requiring in-patient hospitalization
$50,000 or more in total costs, measured in 1984 dollars
Highly volatile liquid releases of 5 barrels or more or other liquid releases of 50 barrels or more
Liquid releases resulting in an unintentional fire or explosion

In 2016, those incidents amounted to 16 fatalities, 80 injuries, and cost $273,376,637.00, and 2016 was a fairly average year (1997-present).

The original route for at least one of the pipelines was changed, partly because of the risk of contaminating the water supply of Bismark, N.D. Now Bismark wasn’t the only reason for re-routing the pipeline, but the other reasons were environmentally or safety-based as well: http://www.snopes.com/dapl-routed-through-standing-rock-after-bismarck-residents-said-no/ If you don’t trust Snopes, here’s the Bismark Tribune’s story on it: http://bismarcktribune.com/news/state-and-regional/pipeline-route-plan-first-called-for-crossing-north-of-bismarck/article_64d053e4-8a1a-5198-a1dd-498d386c933c.html It is also notable, I think, that the Congressional Research Service noted that, “In general, however, Bakken crude oil is much more volatile than other types of crude.” It is definitely not the sort of thing I would want running through my water supply (although I’ll grant you that there is every chance that there is already a pipeline running through my water supply somewhere – I’m not happy about that either).

Anyway, the point is that pipelines leak, and that running them under or through the major sources of water for the Great Plains seems pretty freaking stupid to me.

Point 2:

They are, by and large, unnecessary. It’s not like all that oil is just being stored until the pipelines are built. Those oil fields have been active since the 1950’s, and they’ve got the oil to market, enough to make Harold Hamm, the first guy to lease those fields, a billionaire.

Now, I will grant you that moving oil via pipeline may be safer and more economical than moving it by truck. In fact, here’s a Forbe’s article that shows just how hard it can be to decide which form of transport is safer: Forbes article One of the things I thought was significant in that article was that in two of the three short-answer scenarios, pipelines came in second-worst, and in the chart farther down in the story (which is taken from the Congressional Research Service), pipelines were again the silver-medal winner for most oil spilled in all three time periods charted (although it did tie for second-worst in one). In fact, rail transport looks significantly safer (of course, it’s probably not nearly as cheap).

Point 3:

I don’t believe all that crap about the pipelines creating 28,000 new jobs, especially “good construction jobs”. A state department report estimated that it would create either 4,000 or 2,000 construction jobs, depending on whether it was built in 1 year or 2. Granted there would be jobs created to support the construction workers, but how many of those would be left when the pipelines are completed and require only about 50 people to operate it? That’s the whole point of the pipeline: TO SAVE MONEY!!!!! Of course, I could be wrong. God knows that the oil industry is famed for its willing to sacrifice for the good of the country and its citizens.

Point 4:

Finally, oil is on its way to becoming largely obsolete, or at least it should be: with the advances being made in renewable energy like solar and wind (they’re also finding ways of generating energy using the ocean tides, and even electricity-producing plankton. Don’t ask me how it works, I’m an English geek, not a science wonk), if we made a national effort, like the one we made to get to the moon, we could significantly reduce our independence on oil, regardless of whether it’s foreign or domestic. That means less pollution, better national security (no more worries about losing our sources of energy, and as far as terrorism goes, its a lot less damaging to have a windmill or field of solar panels broken or blown up than a refinery or pipeline), less power in the hands of utilities and power companies, and more power in the hands of the people (literally and figuratively).

Of course, it’s naive to think we’ll be able to get off of oil completely, at least any time soon. As far as I know, there is currently no electric motor that can push a truck or a freight train (although I read that Germany is trying out a hydrogen-powered passenger train on one line, with plans to expand it if it works out). It seems to me though, that a concerted effort to switch to renewable energy wherever possible and feasible (such as personal transportation, residential power needs, etc.) will be much more beneficial for us individually and collectively. As it is, it seems like we are dragging our heels while other nations are taking the lead, and making the progress that we could and should be making.

But wait! I hear you say, “What about all the poor oil, gas, and coal workers who will lose their jobs?” Yes, I answer, that is a valid concern. However, I don’t think that blacksmiths, farriers, liveries and other horse-based industries were all that excited about the advent of the automobile. Look around you now. How many of those jobs still exist? Basically none. However, the advent of new technology has pretty much always produced new jobs to replace those rendered obsolete. Another consideration is automation. As industries, including the fossil fuel industries become more and more automated, how many of those oil, gas, and coal workers are going to lose their jobs anyway?

We are, I believe, on the cusp of a technical revolution that will change the world just as much as the industrial revolution did. Resistance is not only futile, in the case of fossil fuels, it is also stupid.

Conclusion:

Well, that’s pretty much it as far as my thoughts on the Dakota pipelines in particular, and fossil fuels in general, go. You may have noticed that I failed to mention anything about the tribal lands or ancestral burying grounds. To me, that is more of a matter of sentiment. I absolutely respect the protesters in N. Dakota, and what they’re doing: they have my full support (whatever that’s worth), because I believe that they are absolutely correct, and I am amazed at the resilience, courage, and restraint they’ve shown in persevering through not only unbelievably harsh winter conditions, but also unbelievably unjust and un-American abuse at the hands of law enforcement. There can be no justification for using water cannons, tear gas, concussion grenades, or bullets (whether rubber or lead), on peaceful protesters standing up for their rights. It is damned un-American, in my opinion, and a national shame.

Even so, like I said, the tribal lands and burial ground thing is basically a matter of sentiment, and sentiment is not going to win this fight. We have a long tradition of screwing over Native people for profit. Sentiment is not going to stop it. I’m hoping that reason will.

Finally, feel free to let me know what you think. I always welcome comments and civil discussion. As always, thanks for reading!

My Dog Eats Poo: A Disgusting Allegorical Tale

January 9, 2017Culture, Politics, Politics & CultureBill O'Reilly, brains, dogs, memes, poo, Rachel Maddowmoonandjess@frontier.com

Our current oldest dog, Elsie, is a sweetie; she’s the princess of our little doggie family. She’s an English Springer Spaniel which, for my money, is one of the most beautiful breeds of dog. She is also probably the smartest dog we have. Now, at thirteen, she’s almost blind, and pretty much deaf (although the deafness seems to come and go a little bit, depending on what you’re saying to her), and fairly constantly confused. She spends most of her days napping on the couch, although, due to her arthritis, she frequently needs help getting up there. Even though she’s not the cute little puppy she used to be, everybody still loves Elsie. There’s just one problem: she eats poo. She seems to like it best when the weather is cold (poocicles!), the colder the better (crunchy poo!), although she doesn’t turn up her nose at it when the weather is warm either (gummy poo!).

Elsie, the Princess of our little doggie family

There’s nothing like seeing this beautiful little dog wandering around the yard, and then she looks up at you, and she looks like she’s doing an imitation of Winston Churchill, with a big ol’ poo stogie hanging out of her mouth as she enthusiastically gnaws on it. It’s kind of funny, but disgusting, and no matter how we try to keep the yard clean, with four dogs, there’s always some out there. It also doesn’t help that two of the four are big dogs with consistently impressive output. At least she’s not a big licker; trust me, nobody wants puppy kisses from Elsie.

The weird thing is that she’s a picky eater, and getting pickier every day. We’ve got her on special dog food formulated for older dogs, and she ate it for a while, and then just stopped. For a couple of days, we just couldn’t get her to eat. Finally, my wife, the beautiful and compassionate Jess, started mixing canned dog food in with Elsie’s kibble, and she started eating again.

She’s the same way with her medicine; she just pretty much refuses to take it. She’s on two different types of pills, and wants nothing to do with either of them. She would take them from Jess (well who wouldn’t?), so it was no big deal for a while, but when Jess went back to work, I had to give them to her, and she wasn’t having any of it. For a while, I could stuff the pills into chunks of hot dog, but she got wise to that; she’d chew up the hot dog, spit the pills out, and then swallow the hot dog.

This caused numerous problems because, for one thing, at this point, the pills smelled like hot dog, so I had to get to them before the other dogs (who seem to believe they are perpetually being starved) scarfed them down, and secondly, now, the pills were all slimy and hard to get hold of, but by the time I caught Elsie (who knew what was coming, and still moves pretty fast for an old dog), they had become spit-glued to my hand, so when I finally got her jaws pried open, the damned pills wouldn’t come off of my fingers. So there I was, having the thumb I was using to keep her mouth open gnawed through, while trying to scrape the pills off my finger with her teeth, without dropping them out of her mouth. It was a traumatic experience for both of us, and there were some days when she just didn’t get her pills.

Meatloaf seemed to solve the problem, at least until the leftovers ran out, but to be honest, I kind of resented having to save the meatloaf leftovers to pack her pills in (I love her, but I also love cold meatloaf sandwiches), and cooking an entire meatloaf just for her seemed like going just too far. I tried just mixing her pills in with her food, but she would eat around them. Trying to keep her comfortable and alive is no easy task.

For now, we’ve solved the problem with peanut butter; we stick the pills in a big glob of it, and stick it to the side of her food bowl. That’s worked for a couple of weeks, but this morning, when she’d finished breakfast, sure enough, there were the pills, spit-glued to the bowl, licked clean of peanut butter. I don’t know what we’ll do if the peanut butter stops working. I’m not proud of it, but I’ve actually thought of going out to the yard, and sticking them into some poo. Hopefully it won’t come to that. Also, I’m not sure she wouldn’t just eat the poo and spit the pills out. It’s really kind of disturbing. She sees the yard as one great big smorgasbord, greedily scarfing down all the recycled dog food she can find, but the stuff she needs, the stuff that will keep her alive and relatively healthy, she will go to any length to avoid.

It seems to me that she approaches food with the same attitude that we humans approach reality. More and more, we seem to seek out the reality we want, the reality that tastes good to us, no matter how shitty it might actually be (and a lot of that poo is really shitty).

For at least a year now, we, as a nation, have been gorging ourselves on an all-you-can-stomach poo buffet, with no sign of slowing down, much less stopping. We schlerp it up on the Facebook and Twitter, on the radio and TV, even go hunting for wilder and more rarified varieties in the untamed jungles of the internet. We just can’t get enough, or at least not enough with our packaging preference (after all, poo is just poo. A dog turd is a dog turd, whether it’s dressed up to suit the purposes of the right or the left). Plus, with electronic poo, with brain poo, there’s always plenty to go around, so we can not only share our favorite poo with all our friends, we can also inflict it on our enemies (’cause that’ll show ’em!). Besides, you know how they say we only use like 5% of our brains (although personally, I think that’s a high estimate for much of the world’s population), so we clearly have lots of poo storage available. Let’s shovel some more in!

Most of the time, it’s not even specific poo, it’s just broad, generic, generalized poo. So much of it is “liberals all do this” or “Conservatives all think that” or “all protesters want to destroy America” or “all politicians are corrupt” (actually, this is one of my own favorites. That’s why I keep using the term “we”).

Granted, sometimes it’s kind of funny – every time I see one of those “shares” that says “Watch Bill O’Reilly DESTROY Obama!” or “Rachel Maddow CRUSHES Mitch McConnell with this argument!”, I get a visual in my head of the allegedly “DEMOLISHED” party exploding, or melting like the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz, which is kinda fun, except it never really happens. They’re never even slowed down, much less destroyed or demolished (That’s one of the problems with the Facebook & Twitter: It gets used by a lot of people who either don’t know what words mean, or just don’t care).

But really, what are our options? Oh sure, there are books we could read, books by great thinkers and writers, who’ve really studied the world & what it means to be human, what it means to be a citizen of the nation or the world, who’ve spent a lot of time trying to answer the big questions, and of course, reading those books might make us wiser and smarter, but isn’t it just easier, more efficient, and just tastier to our brains to just trust the makers of memes read that stuff, digest it, and poop out the important parts? It’s really like being on a diet. Reading Thomas Carlyle or Thomas Paine or Voltaire is just going to turn us into fatheads (especially Carlyle – that guy never used one word when ten would do); it’s just too much. Besides, reading books might make us think, and dammit, we’re Americans! Thinking didn’t make this country great! Getting out and doing stuff made this country what it is today (granted, genocide, slavery, exploitation of immigrants, women, and minorities are some of the things we got out and did, but you’ve gotta take the good with the bad, right?)!

Stuffing ourselves on pre-digested, pre-packaged, intellectual poo leaves lots of brain-room for remembering sports, movie, or book trivia, or to remember all the passwords to our accounts on the Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Reddit, and all the rest (because if we can’t remember our passwords, how are we going to get our yummy intellectual excrement).

Reading and thinking is really just too much like taking our medication or eating healthy; yes, we all know it’s probably better for us, but who has the time? We’ve gotta get out and do stuff – although “getting out and doing stuff” seems to involve a lot more video games, Netflix, and watching other people doing stuff on TV, but why argue semantics? The point is: We’re Americans! We eat Poo! It doesn’t matter whether it’s greasy fast food for our bodies, or intentional misinformation for our brains, we’re apparently not gonna stop.

So there!

Now What?

December 28, 2016All About Me, Arts, Books and Literature, Culture, Politics, Politics & Culturecapitalism, college, conservatives, conversation, fascists, freedom, guns, immigration, liberals, libtards, racism, socialismmoonandjess@frontier.com

I’m freeeeeee! Finally, at the age of 51, I’ve graduated from college. Yay me. I’ve spent the last 3 1/2 years busting my butt, studying, reading, thinking, and writing, and it’s come down to this: I got an email the other day saying that they’ve checked, and yep, I’ve completed all the requirements for a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) degree in English with a concentration in Creative Writing (I do have to admit to some disappointment that its a B.A., and not a B.S. degree, although, as some have pointed out, I’ve had a degree in BS for decades. Still, it would be nice for it to be official).

The last semester was particularly hard. It’s difficult to concentrate on Frances Burney’s Evelina, or, The History of a Young Lady’s Entrance into the World, first published in 1778, when the whole world seems to be losing its shit. Seriously. In the (sur)real world, we had Donald Trump, whose chief accomplishment seems to be losing money on casinos (and in fairness, even I would find that difficult) vs. Hillary Clinton, who is most famous for being the only politician on earth who has spent her entire existence under congressional investigation (and inconclusive investigation at that).

On top of that, we had dozens of examples of malfeasance by both parties, the campaign was virtually issue-free (why waste time talking about the future of the country, when you can just get on TV and sling shit at your opponent? It’s like the whole thing was held in a monkey house full of incontinent chimpanzees). Finally, Trump won, despite losing the popular vote (by almost 3 million votes), and all of a sudden, it seems like everyone is talking revolution; lefties are gearing up to stop Trump no matter what (although honestly, if they couldn’t get their shit together enough to beat Trump during the election, it seems fairly naive to think they’ll get it together now), and the rightest of the right wing are proposing armed revolt if Trump turns out to be a disappointment to them (it’s like cognitive dissonance has become viral).

So like I was saying, it was really hard to concentrate in school. All the time I was supposed to be writing papers, and reading books, I just couldn’t help thinking about all the stuff I wanted to write for Moonsthoughts. Every conversation would turn to politics, and I’d think, “Ooooh, that’d make a good post,” and “Hey, I have thoughts on that subject too!” I have to admit, I wasn’t really doing my best work there at the end.

And now, 2-3 weeks later, I’m free to write whatever I want . . . and I’ve got nothing. I’ve started several posts, and given up on them all. Part of it may just be ennui, after straining my brain for school, but I’m more afraid that it’s just . . . well . . . despair? resignation? depression? I thought that things would change after the election. I thought that, no matter who won, everybody would calm down, lay off the panic buttons, and maybe start talking to each other again (what can I say; I’m an optimist). Sadly, that doesn’t seem to be the case. All the craziness and hyperbole (on both sides) just seems to keep getting worse.

Most people seem to just want it to be over, to forget about it, to get back to their lives. I’ve had at least two conversations in the last couple of weeks, with intelligent, reasonable, compassionate people who just want to stop talking about all this stuff. This is the wrong approach to take, I think. There’s way too much of just sticking our heads in the sand in that response. Of course, I think it’s also because we were all white, straight, married, Christian, several-generation American, lower-middle-class to middle-class people. The only thing we really have to worry too much about is our own slow slide into poverty (which does seem increasingly likely). Nobody wants to register us, or deport us, or revoke any of our rights, so we’ll probably be okay with our heads in the sand for at least a few more years. Yay us!

The only way I see things getting any better, is if we (and I mean all of us), pull our heads out of the sand (or wherever else they may currently be inserted), and talk to each other about the issues, about the ideas, about our fears, about what direction the country should take. We need to get off the talking points, stop talking about the politicians, and stop talking about what they want us to talk about.

One of the things I learned in college is that you don’t learn a whole lot from people you agree with. We need to talk to people we don’t agree with; to find out why they feel the way they do, to let them know why we feel the way we do. Of course, in order to do that, we’ll have to learn to stop communicating in memes, to stop parroting the misinformation machine that feeds both sides a steady diet of Bullshit.

On the Facebook, I’ve got a lot of pretty hard-core, right-wing friends. I’ve also got a lot of hard-core, left-wing friends. If I’m honest, I have to admit that I find the left’s bullshit much more palatable, but that’s why I don’t unfriend or unfollow my right-wing friends. I don’t want to live in an echo chamber. I know a lot of people who voted for Trump; some who did so proudly, and some reluctantly, but I have no problem with anyone, based on who they voted for. Whether I like it or not, I can understand the reasoning (or at least most of it), to some point, anyway. I think they’re wrong, but being wrong doesn’t make them bad people (to paraphrase a famous guy I used to know).

We’ve got to see past the generalizations. I’m soooooo tired of seeing right-wing propaganda that refers to all liberals as “libtards” or worse, and I’m just as tired of left-wing propaganda that refers to all conservatives as fascists. It’s bad enough in the memes, but when people I know start slinging that kind of crap around, I really get kind of angry, because, (I’m gonna let you all in on a little secret here) I’m a conservative – more on that later.

It’s not just counterproductive, it’s stupid. I don’t know anybody whose entire existence can be summed up by one word. Like I said before, I know a lot of folks on the right, and even though I disagree with almost everything they say, I know that they are not fascist, racist, gay-bashing, Troglodytes consumed by hatred for anything that doesn’t look or act like them (at least not the ones I know). I also know a lot of folks on the left, and none of them hate America, or want to invalidate your religion, or to take any of your stuff away and give it to anybody else. Pretty much all of the folks I know, left and right, just want to live their lives according to their own lights. None of them wishes harm to anyone else. None of them want to hurt anybody, or rule over anybody. They just want to do their jobs, support their families, and live in peace.

We like things simple; we like the idea that there are good guys and bad guys, absolute right and absolute wrong, and we all, left or right, like to think that we’re on the side of the Angels (or the side of Right, anyway). That way we don’t have to think. We really hate to think. We really, really hate to think that we might not be absolutely, completely, 100% right on everything (although ironically, we do like to post about how flawed and imperfect we are on the Facebook, especially us Christians). We need to talk, and more importantly, to listen to people who think differently than us because, the chances are that on any given subject, neither of us are really, completely, 100% right on anything.

We’ve got to talk about this stuff; capitalism, socialism, gay rights, racism, abortion, women’s rights, freedom of religion/freedom from religion, guns, immigration, all of it, among ourselves. We’ve got to take the power out of the hands of the politicians, and back into our hands, where it should be. The powers that be don’t want us to come together; it’s much easier for them to get what they want if we’re too busy fighting with each other to look at them. Our loss is their gain.

We’ve all got to do whatever we can do to contribute to the conversation, but first we’ve got to start that conversation; what we’ve got right now is essentially a nation of incontinent chimps flinging shitty memes at each other, thinking “that’ll show ’em.”

I know I’ve got to keep on writing; not to convince, not to convert, or to preach, but to present what I think, and why I think this way (and yes, I was dropped on my head as a child. Several times). It’s the only way I know to try to fix things.

What can you do?

Pine Ridge Indian Reservation: A Largely Unknown Known

November 26, 2016Culture, Politics, Politics & Culture, Religion, Travelmoonandjess@frontier.com

For those of you who are interested in Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, here’s a link to a paper I wrote for Napenasi.com, a blog I write for Nape Na Si, a mission organization that works on Pine Ridge:

Shaking Up the Blissful Ignorance:

I hope you’ll take the time to read it, and then more time to think about it, especially during this holiday season.

I’ll be writing more on this soon.

Enjoy, and, as always, thanks for reading!

The United Colonies of Corporate America

June 2, 2016Culture, Politics, Politics & Culturemoonandjess@frontier.com

There is a sentiment that often pops up in a meme posted by veterans, that says something along the lines of “I swore an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic. That oath has no expiration date.” Although, it is normally posted by my more right-leaning brethren, I actually believe the same thing. I just disagree with them on who our enemies really are.

I was reading an article earlier today, from Atlantic magazine by David Frum, about the impending collapse of American Democracy and the rise of Donald Trump (no matter how I try, I just can’t seem to help myself). It was a pretty good article, but there was one thing that really struck home to me; in the section on foreign policy, it quotes a statistic from the Pew Research Center that says that 66% of Republicans polled, and 75% of Trump supporters polled, said that things have gotten worse for people like themselves over the last 50 years. Much as it pains me to agree with anything Trump supporters believe, I have to admit I agree with them. Where we seem to disagree on this is on the WHY.

They seem to believe it’s the fault of foreigners, minorities, Muslims, gays, Democrats, liberals, socialists, progressives, the poor, career politicians, the U.N., and, of course, OBAMA (Duhn, DUNH, DUNNNNNNH!). I believe that most of it is because we’re being colonized by inhuman forces. That’s right – Corporations. Actually, that’s not quite accurate. Corporations are merely the mechanisms through which we are being colonized. The actual colonizers are the people at the top of the corporations, like the Koch brothers, and the same bankers and brokers who caused the collapse of the economy in 2008.

Definition of Colonization:

First, let’s take a look at what colonization is. Out of sheer laziness, I’ll quote my own paper, “Colonizing Shakespeare,” written for a class:

Mel Brooks’ 1974 comedy, Blazing Saddles, unintentionally contains perhaps the most practical definition of colonialism ever, when the villain, Hedley Lamarr plots to take some extremely valuable land from its rightful owners. His henchman Taggart suggests a “number six”:

“‘Well, that’s where we go a-ridin’ into town, a-whompin’ and a-whumpin’ every livin’ thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folk, of course.”

‘Oh, you spare the women?’

‘Naw, we rape the shit out of them at the Number Six Dance later on.’

‘Marvelous!’” (Brooks).

The “number six”, although crude, is more realistic than the bloodless and inane definition provided by the Oxford English Dictionary: “The colonial system or principle. Now freq. used in the derogatory sense of an alleged policy of exploitation of backward or weak peoples by a large power” (“colonialism, n.” 2). European colonization followed a very simple pattern: find a place with ample resources, overpower the indigenous people, force the indigenous people to gather those resources or import cheap slave, prisoner, or indentured laborers to gather them and push the indigenous people out, collect said resources and ship home to the mother nation. Mixed in with that was usually the importation of missionary workers to subvert the local religions and convert the indigenous people to Christianity. European colonialism was ultimately all about increasing the power and wealth of the mother nation and its rulers, both politically and commercially; in other words, a large-scale “number six”.

It doesn’t really matter where you look; the Spanish in South America, Belgians in the Congo, or the Romans, and later the British, pretty much everywhere, or even little old us, right here at home, they pretty much all follow the same pattern. Find something you want, kill or subjugate anyone or anything that stands between you and “it”, keep as much of “it” for yourself as humanly possible while vilifying anyone who questions your right to have “it”.

What makes this corporate colonization harder to spot, is that “it”, in this case, is not land, or resources, or even a particularly physical property; “it” in this case, is simply money (and, if you would argue the fact that money is no longer a physical property, ask yourself, when was the last time you cashed a paycheck, or even held more than a couple hundred dollars in your hand). Money has become less and less familiar to us. Now money is a little plastic card in your wallet, a bank notification in your email, a button on your computer screen. It doesn’t pass from hand to hand anymore, it flies invisibly along wires, and even through the air. Oddly enough, our current unfamiliarity with it has made it even more important, more mystical, more God-like.

A Little Evidence:

One thing I have noticed throughout all this political season’s finger-pointing, patriotic, flag-waving, hyperbole about income and wealth inequality is this; there really hasn’t been all that much. Seriously. Except for Bernie Sanders, the rest seem to pretty much just ignore it, or at best, poo-pooh it as the whining of undeserving whiners. Nobody however, seems to really want to dispute that it exists. I googled “American income over the past 40 years,” and in every chart I saw, the line representing the income of the top 1% looks like my heartrate after 5 minutes on a treadmill. It looks like a rocket trajectory from the ’80’s to today. On the other hand, every chart’s lines representing lower- and median-income earnings since the ’80’s looks like my heartrate if I tried to do 20 minutes on a treadmill (a flat line).

I haven’t heard anyone dispute this. Even Fox News acknowledges that it exists, but even they can only sugar-coat that turd so much. John Stossel wrote that yes, incomes for the rich have increased by 200% over the last 30 years, but don’t forget that the poor’s income has increased by 50 percent over that same time period. I’m not even going to argue with his numbers. Let’s just look at it mathematically. Let’s say the average rich guy made $1,000,000 a year, 30 years ago. Today, that same rich guy would be making 2,000,000. Not too shabby. Let’s say the average poor person made $20,000. Today, he’s making $30,000. Meanwhile, the price of hamburger has gone from $.99/lb. to $4.68/lb. That’s an increase of 472%. Bread was $.50, now it’s $1.98 (almost 400%). In other words, according to Fox News, the only people keeping up with the cost of living are the wealthy. As a side note, we all know that I suck at math. Feel free to let me know if I got it wrong.

How They’ve Done It:

In the old days, the imperial powers used a literal “number 6” approach. Take the U.S., for example. We wanted the land, the gold, the timber, the silver, etc. “What the hell,” we said, “the Indians aren’t even using it. God wants us to have it.” So we took away their food sources, and forcibly moved them to land we didn’t want. If they resisted, we killed as many of them as as it took to make them behave the way we wanted to. We told them, “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you now,” and then just as quickly forgot about them, at least until we found that their was uranium in that worthless land we’d put them on. Then, we claimed imminent domain, and took that too, and poisoned the water while we were at it. Then we promptly forgot them again. If you doubt me, go to an Indian reservation sometime.

The Corporations’ approach is more subtle. They legislate it, through lobbyists who write the bills Congress passes. Through corporate welfare, where employees (including many military members) earn so little that they rely on food stamps, WIC, and other assistance to make ends meet. Through extortion, threatening to move operations to other states or even overseas if their conditions aren’t met. That way, we get union-busting Right-to-Work laws that puts even more power in the Corporate hands.

At the same time, they find, create, and promote other “enemies” to distract us. Those evil unions, all those unnecessary regulations that stop them from turning this country back into a veritable Garden of Eden of freedom and free enterprise like it was in the ’60’s and ’70’s; you know, those halcyon days when our rivers used to catch fire from all the crap they dumped into them. They promote the idea that what’s good for business is good for America, and to show their patriotism and dedication to the American way of life, they hide their money in the Caiman Islands and other places.

They, through their political shills promote the idea that government is the enemy, and convince many to forget that our government is designed to be a “government of the people, by the people, and for the people,” (Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address). That’s right, you and I are the government. At least, we’re supposed to be. If we’re not any more, it’s our own damned fault. We’re the ones who bought into the bullshit fed us by people only interested in siphoning all the money to the top, AKA Trickle-Down Economics, or, as I think of it, “Let’s piss down their backs and tell them it’s raining” economics.

We are complicit in our own colonization. We’ve turned ourselves into a group of people so stupid that we’re perfectly willing to accept a Facebook meme that is easily disproved with even the most rudimentary amount of research, yet completely unwilling to accept the findings of the scientific community. Until we get sick that is. Then we’re all about the science. The more sciencey, the better. Heart, kidneys, or liver gone bad? Sign me up for a transplant. Hard-on’s a thing of the past? Have some viagra. Yay science!!!!! And all the while we ignore the fact that the same scientific process that made these things possible has also amassed a mountain of evidence that points out that climate change is devastatingly real.

An intelligent, thinking population is necessary, yet we allow our schools to deteriorate. We support our teachers by sharing memes on the Facebook, and elect politicians who gut school programs to cut costs. We’re not going to get really upset as long as they’re only cutting band, music, and arts programs, lunch programs, or things like that. No, we’ll save our wrath for when they start cutting the important stuff, like sports. Well, boy’s sports that is; the only people who care about girl’s sports are the girl’s parents. We NEED boy’s sports. They’re the primary feeder system for college and professional sports. We’ve got to keep those things strong and healthy, so we can keep building new stadiums with tax dollars so our teams won’t move somewhere that will build one.

Because professional sports are important. Without them, what would we do on Sunday afternoons? Spend time doing something with our families? Read a book, maybe? The horror! Besides, without sports merchandise, what would we spend what little money we have on? How would anybody know what team we root for? How would we know what people are just not right? Granted, it’s easy enough when they’re clearly different, but what about the ones who look and act just like me? How else would I know that my neighbor is a Steelers fan, and so, clearly not to be trusted (this is COLTS country, dammit!).

We’ve bought into the idea that the American people are the villains; well, not you and I, we’re the good guys, us and the small group of like-minded, right-thinking individuals like us. The bad guys are all the rest; all those “takers”. The poor, the immigrants (legal and illegal), the gays, the liberals, etc., etc. They’re the ones who are getting rich off of our tax dollars. They’re the ones who are bringing America down with their laziness, their immorality. Hell’s bells, they won’t even take care of their own children! And especially now that there are so many of them.

We want to get back to the good old days, the ’50’s, ’60’s, and 70’s. Back then, people lived right. Men went to work, and women stayed home and took care of their children. Parents taught their kids right from wrong. Parents were there to discipline their kids. That’s what we need to get back to. Except we can’t. Back in those days, in most cases, a man could make enough money working full time to feed, clothe, and house his family, so mothers could stay home and be mothers. Nowadays, and for the last 30 or so years, it takes both parents working to make ends meet.

Back then, if a mother needed, or even wanted, to work, the places where most of them work were closed at night, so they worked while the kids were in school. Now, everything runs 24 hours a day. Often both parents work different shifts, and the kids spend their time with grandparents, friends, or baby-sitters, or at day-care that costs almost as much as the parent makes.

Poverty, just like wealth, is inherited, as are their attendant attitudes. Just as wealthy people become more “entitled” and spoiled the farther removed from actually having earned their wealth they become over generations, accepting their wealth as their due, the poor become more and more accustomed to hopelessness, more and more resigned to living on hand-outs. We see this with every trip we make to Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. We middle-class white folks go out there and are shocked at the living conditions. We can’t believe that people actually have to live like that, here in modern America.

But the same thing is happening to us. The middle class isn’t shrinking so much as it is falling into poverty. The economic collapse in ’08 was the biggest bang in our colonization, and it wasn’t even enough to wake us up and make us take action. Seven to 10 million people lost their homes in the mortgage crisis, and not only did none of the people responsible go to jail for their predatory and irresponsible lending practices, WE BAILED THEM OUT! We called them job creators, even as they moved operations overseas to save money, as they gutted and pillaged our industrial and manufacturing base.

I know that some of you will say that I’m being ridiculous, that if they drive us all into poverty, then we won’t have the money to buy their products. In answer to that, I say, the guys at the top don’t care. They just want the money. They’ve already proven to themselves that even the poorest of us will go to ridiculous lengths to buy their crap, especially if they can drop the price by making that crap overseas. All they have to do is keep making minor “improvements”, and we’ll just have to have the newest Xbox, or IPhone. Even on Pine Ridge, they’ve all got cell phones.

Besides, these champions of capitalism don’t really believe in capitalism. Henry Ford, as anti-union an industrialist as they come, insisted on paying employees enough that they could afford his cars, raising their pay to almost double the standard. He knew that well-paid workers were loyal, and good for the economy. I once worked for a relative, a staunch conservative and capitalist, in a small skid-making business. He paid an excellent wage for a part-time job, and every year the business did well, he paid me a bonus. This was entirely his decision. I had no idea whether he was even making a profit. In return, I did my best to streamline the operation, drastically reducing production time and costs.

These guys, however, only believe in getting theirs. They know it’s not going to last, so they get in, grab all they can, as fast as they can, all the while ensuring that, if it all goes tits up while they’re in charge, they’ve got their golden parachute in place. Henry Ford was making cars. He was doing it to make money, and he made a lot, but he was making sure he took care of his people (granted, a lot of his methods were reprehensible, but the point stands). He was a capitalist. My relative was making skids. He also was doing it to make money, and he made some, but he also felt a responsibility to me. He is a capitalist. These guys are only making money. They only feel a responsibility to themselves. They aren’t capitalists, they’re opportunists.

But we still see each other as the enemy. We share memes about how fast-food workers want $15 an hour, pointing self-righteously to the fact that EMT’s, and other skilled workers don’t make that much, without ever asking ourselves why, since our GDP grows every year, are EMT’s, teachers, soldiers, police, fire-fighters, and medical personnel payed so poorly? Nobody chooses to work a low-skilled, minimum wage job at McDonalds, or WalMart. They take those jobs because often, they’re the only jobs available, particularly to a population that is poorly educated, and trained not to think, but just to believe. To believe what they’re told by the pundits, and the advertisers, the creators of memes.

The real value of education lies not in just the memorization of facts, but in the development of the ability to think, and to think critically. But if we learn to do that, then we won’t be such easy marks for con men disguised as business leaders, and our prospective overlords just can’t have that.

The question is, what’s it going to take to wake us up, and start us questioning these things? I understand completely if you think I’m off-base with a lot of this stuff, but why do you think that? Where’s your evidence? Do you have any, or is your disagreement based on how you feel?

Feel free to tell me what you think.

What’s Wrong with Me? A Little Overdue Self-Examination

May 2, 2016All About Me, Culture, Politics, Politics & Culture, Religionmoonandjess@frontier.com

There is an anecdote, perhaps apocryphal, that G.K. Chesterton once responded to the question, “What is wrong with the world?” from The Times of London with the answer, “I am.” Now, Chesterton was a very, very smart writer, critic, and theologian, so who am I to question him? However, he died in 1936, and the world is still very, very messed up. Clearly he was not all that was wrong with the world or, maybe he was just answering for every single one of us, which begs the question, “What is wrong with us?” Chesterton went on to write an entire book, “What’s Wrong with the World”, in 1910, examining the question more deeply. I don’t have time to write a book, but, I feel that a pretty decent small-scale answer can be found in simply answering the question, “What’s wrong with me?” Sadly, I am also no match for Chesterton’s brevity, so please bear with me.

At first glance, it shouldn’t be too hard. After all, I’m a military retiree, born and raised on an Indiana farm, and raised to behave and live according to the traditional values of my family, church, and nation; all men are created equal, do unto others . . . , etc. I mean, how bad could I really be? Generally, I think I’m a pretty good guy. My wife and friends tell me I’m a good man. Still, I know I’m not perfect. Some of my faults are obvious; I eat too much, smoke too much, don’t exercise enough. I procrastinate both habitually and accidentally (for example, I forgot this essay is due). I am self-destructive in any number of ways. I’m also fundamentally childish, petty, arrogant, vain, judgmental, insecure, wasteful, and, in all likelihood, not nearly as smart as I think I am. I guess I’m probably pretty much just like you and everybody else on the planet.

But all those things are really just the symptoms. They’re the things that I, along with you, and most of the rest of the world are aware of, and work to overcome every day so that we can be the people we’d like to be. To just stop there would really be premature. To get to the root of these symptoms, deeper self-examination is required.

One of the great things about going back to school late in life is that it has really made me at least try to be a critical thinker; to think deeply about things that I would normally just take for granted, or never think about at all. For example, I’ve been thinking about race a lot lately, which led me to ask myself, “Am I a racist?” Normally, I would just say no, of course not. After all, I don’t associate with members of any racial minorities now, but that’s because none live around me, or are in class with me (I really don’t get out much). I did spend 20 years in the Air Force though, working with people of many different ethnicities and nationalities. Many were friends, and I got along with virtually all of them. I did dislike some, but it was based on work, personality, and behavior, not their skin color. Clearly the answer was no. Emphatically no. I felt really good about that.

Then that critical thinking thing kicked in, and I really looked at my life. Just that sentence above about how I don’t associate with any minorities now, essentially admits that I don’t because I don’t have to. That’s kind of disturbing. Do I avoid places that might cause me to have to interact with minorities? Were there parts of town that I avoid? I realized that the answer to both those questions was yes. I’ll drive through the north side of town, but that’s it. When I need a haircut, I go to a chain salon on the east side, even though it made me uncomfortable. It just seemed unmanly (more on that later) to go to a salon instead of a barber, but the only barber shop I knew of is in the black part of town. I’ve driven by it literally thousands of times. It is by far the closest and most convenient barber shop in town, but I had never even considered going there for a haircut. I had to ask myself why not? The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I got about myself. Why not go there? I’m not picky about my hair. I just want it shorter. I’d even had it cut by black barbers in base barber shops. I had to face the fact that I’d never considered it simply because it’s a “black” barber shop. This was not a happy realization for me. It undermined a lot of what I’ve always believed about myself, and I decided I needed to do something about it. The next time I needed a haircut, that’s where I went.

I was uncomfortable walking into Wright’s Barber Shop. What would it be like? Would I be the only white guy in there? Would they all look at me? I imagined walking into something like the movie Barber Shop. Rap and Soul music playing, black people laughing and joking and having a good time. Then I walk in, and it all goes dead silent, every face turning to stare at me in shock. Maybe somebody drops a pair of scissors, and their clatter is as loud as Notre Dame’s bells ringing. Maybe it would even all happen in slow motion.

I was a little nervous as I opened the door. I walked in, and one of the ladies there asked, “Can I help you?”

“Yes, please. I need a haircut.”

“Okay, have a seat. It’ll be a few minutes.”

That’s it. No gasps of shock, no funny looks, barely a break in the conversation. I felt like a schmuck. I sat down on a sofa and looked around me. Okay, kind of what I expected; some velvet paintings on the wall, Aretha on the radio. Jet and Ebony magazines on a coffee table. After a few minutes, Mr. Wright came out, and gave me a great haircut. We had a lovely conversation, and he made me feel not only welcome, but like I belonged, like there was nothing weird about a white guy coming into his place for a haircut. Because there wasn’t.

I walked out of there feeling pretty good about myself; Apparently I wasn’t racist after all. But, if I wasn’t at least a little bit racist, then a simple haircut wouldn’t need all this thinking, all these feelings and worries, however small, would it? At least I was only a little bit racist. Of course, being a little racist is like having chlamydia: It’s better than having syphilis, but still not good. That’s a problem I’m going to have to do something about.

Then, I had to ask myself, why would getting my hair cut at a “salon” strike me as unmanly? Why would it even bother me? Deep down, I knew that men go to barbers, and that salons are for women, metrosexuals, and homosexuals. This has led me to realize that I am apparently a little bit homophobic. This is disturbing on a number of levels. Quite a few of my favorite people are gay, both friends and family. These are people that I genuinely love and respect. Even some of my favorite fictional characters are gay. I’m in favor of gay marriage, and I’m completely against these “religious freedom” laws that are so popular now, and seem to be nothing more than a thinly-veiled excuse for discriminating against gay people. I find them (the laws) offensive and distinctly un-American, so to realize that deep-down, I harbor some of these same sentiments, no matter how insignificantly or superficially, is frankly, shameful. It’s not that I have anything against them, I just apparently just don’t want to be mistaken for one of them. I was really starting to feel like a jackass, and rightly so. I’m going to have to do some work on this too. I realize that, if I were to go to a black barbershop for a haircut to explore my previously unsuspected racism, then perhaps I should try a similar experiment to test my level of homophobia. It occurred to me, however, that I don’t know of any gay barber shops. There are salons, but that’s how I ended up with this dilemma. I suppose that the next logical step at this point would be to go hang out at a gay bar. I’m just not sure that that is a step I’m ready to take. For one thing, I just don’t go to bars. I don’t really go anywhere. I like to stay home. Then there’s the whole “being in a gay bar thing.” What if someone asked me to dance? How would I react? I wouldn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings. It would just be an uncomfortable situation. Or, maybe even worse, what if no one asked me to dance? I’m an overweight, greying 50-year-old man teetering on the verge of a mid-life crisis; I don’t need that kind of rejection. Clearly, this is another area I’m going to have to work on.

At least I’m not sexist. I love women. Most of my favorite people are women. I’m all for equal rights, equal pay, women in any job they want to do. I’d certainly vote for Elizabeth Warren for president. I may even vote for Hilary Clinton. I think of myself as a feminist. I try really hard not to objectify women, although I have to admit that that’s gotten a lot easier as I’ve gotten older. I just don’t seem to have the energy. I even asked my wife if she thought I was possibly just the slightest bit sexist, and she assured me I was not. “If you were, I wouldn’t be with you,” were her exact words, although she did acknowledge my penchant for some sexist jokes. Then I realize that, when I go to a bookstore, I automatically reject almost any book written by a woman. While I have enjoyed a number of books by women, they were virtually all books I was required to read, and not read voluntarily. This is a hard thing to have to admit, and I strongly recommend not having this particular revelation in a college literature class full of aspiring female writers like I did. While I survived that little indiscretion, I am at a loss to explain my dismissal of women’s writing. I know there are a lot of really smart, talented female writers out there. Why don’t I want to know what they have to say? It obviously points to yet another fundamental fault in my psychological and emotional makeup.

I take comfort in the fact that at least I’m not a religious bigot. I am a Christian, but I have no problem with Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, or any other religion. I believe we all have a right to believe whatever we believe, and I see the numerous parallels between most religions and my own, and realize that we’re all looking for the same God. I don’t for a moment believe that all Muslims are either overt, or closet, jihadists, that they are all out to get me. I certainly don’t believe in carpet-bombing countries to kill ISIS. I don’t believe we should have a “kill them before they kill us” brand of foreign policy. Except why do I feel a little frisson of concern when I see a guy in a turban getting on my flight? Why do I feel a little weirded out when I see a woman walking around with a hijab? At this point, I’m beginning to wonder if there is anyone I’m not at least a little prejudiced against.

I guess what’s wrong with me is that I am, to some degree, everything that I loathe people like Donald Trump and Ted Cruz for. I am (apparently) everything that I rail against. Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living,” and I have apparently gone almost 50 years without really examining my life. I don’t think I’m alone in this. Really examining your life takes time. It’s uncomfortable. It, at least in my case, shattered my illusions about myself, those same illusions that we all spend our lives carefully building and protecting. Once you really start thinking, you realize that there are no answers, at least no easy ones, only more questions. Once I realized that I am, in reality, a bigot; racially, genderally (?), sexually, and religiously (and don’t kid yourself, being even a little bit bigoted is like being a little bit pregnant), I’ve had to ask myself why am I all these things, which has led to numerous even less flattering revelations, both about myself, and about those who have, and do, influence me. Even worse, I’ve had to realize that there are no easy answers as to how to fix all these things that are wrong with me. I’m going to have to be an ongoing project.

It has been really hard to write this without providing some sort of defense for myself; like I said before, I like to think I’m a good guy, and at this point, I’m really feeling like a jerk. I know that life isn’t easy for these folks. I’ve been the object of baseless distrust and discrimination myself, although not nearly to the level of minorities, women, gays, or Muslims. As a middle-aged, white veteran attending college full-time, I’ve gotten the hairy eyeball from many of my fellow students. Although there are very few minorities at my school, there are a lot of females and LGBTQ folks, and it took a while for a lot of them to accept me. I made a lot of them uncomfortable. The point, though, is that they did accept me. Many of them have become good friends, and I like to think they feel the same about me. Hearing the stories about their struggles, especially the LGBTQ kids with their families has made me a lot more conscious of the problems they face. I can’t imagine how painful it must be to be rejected by my family just for being me.

Conservatives make a big noise about universities being bastions of liberalism. I say, “Good.” College maybe the last place these kids will be able to let down their guard and openly be themselves, particularly if the vast majority of us don’t get over ourselves and learn to treat those who are superficially different the way we ourselves insist on being treated. If I get a few wonky looks, so be it. I’m a middle-aged white guy. There are lots and lots of people who will be more than willing to accept me and treat me decently, based solely on the way I look. It’s not an issue for me. It’s just that it shouldn’t be an issue for Muslims, LGBTQ folks, minorities, or anyone else. Not in this country.

In the end, Chesterton was right about what’s wrong with the world: I am.

I take some small comfort that at least now, I know it. I’m just one guy. I can’t fix the whole world, but I can at least try to fix myself. I’m certainly going to try. If you should happen to bump into me on the street, have a little patience with me. I’m a work in progress. I’ll try to be a little patient with you too. Maybe that’s the key to the whole damned thing.

Bernie Sanders: Why I’m Feeling the Bern (As Stupid As That May Sound)

March 15, 2016All About Me, Politics, Politics & CultureBernie Sanders, Christian, Rubio, Ted Cruz, Trumpmoonandjess@frontier.com

I am kind of proud to support Bernie Sanders. Granted, I’m only kind of proud because I’m having a hard time believing that there’s a politician out there that I can support, that I can vote for, as opposed to voting against the other guy. I’m a firm believer that a person has to be nuts to even want that office, and the last thing we need in that office is a nut. That said, Bernie Sanders is my kind of nut. I’m proud to support Bernie Sanders for two simple reasons: because I’m a Christian, and because I love this country. I’ll wait while some of you log off, or plan your outraged response.

There, that should be enough time. Please note that, although I claim to be a Christian, I make no claims to being a good one. Frankly, I suck at it. I’m certainly no theologian or Biblical Scholar, God hasn’t tapped me on the shoulder and told me anything personally. I don’t even know if God really even cares who wins the election. I do know this though; Jesus told us to feed his sheep. If we love him, we’re to feed his sheep. We’re to love God first, and second, we’re to love one another. We’re to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. We’re to care for the poor, the down-trodden, the sick. We’re not supposed to feed only those sheep who deserve it, we’re not to love only those who agree with us, or look like us, we’re not to do unto others before they do unto us. We’re not supposed to care for the poor, the down-trodden, and the sick once they’ve earned our help. We’re just supposed to do it.

I don’t remember anything in the Bible that says to shun the refugee, to persecute the immigrant. I’m pretty sure that it even says something in there about loving our enemies. I’m having a hard time finding the part about carpet-bombing potential or even current enemies back to the stone age. Perhaps I need to find the translation that all the Republican candidates seem to be using.

Now I know that Bernie Sanders is not a Christian, he’s not even a christian. As far as I can tell, from what he himself has said, he’s sort of a semi-Agnostic Jew. What I do know is that the things he stands for represents the Christian values that I try so hard to stick to far better than any other candidate I’ve ever heard from. Ever. In any election, with the possible exception of Jimmy Carter. Now, even I don’t think that Carter was a good president, but I think he was a good man, which is more than I can say for anyone else (besides Bernie) running this year.

I’ve seen people posting things about what good Christian men Cruz, Rubio, and even Trump (Trump!) are, and I’ve seen Cruz and Rubio blathering on about their strong faith, but every time I do, I think about that bit in the bible that talks about not praying in public like the hypocrites do, about not making it a public spectacle, so I have my doubts. It strikes me as more about image and votes than devotion to God (also, I refer you to the bit above about the things Jesus told us to do). When I compare their feelings about God with their feelings about their fellow man, there seems to be a major disconnect. As far as Trump goes, he may be the only professing Christian on the planet with a shakier grasp on biblical matters than me (but at least I’m not using it to get a job).

To my thinking, Bernie Sanders seems to know Jesus far better than any of the rest.

As to my second reason for supporting Bernie, that I love this country: Bernie Sanders is the only candidate who seems to think the good ol’ USA can do anything other than huddle in fear. Fear of terrorists (they want to kill us!) fear of blacks and other minorities (they want our stuff! and they probably want to kill us too!), fear of gun control (they want our guns!), fear of immigrants (they want our jobs! and to kill us!), of the poor (they want our money!), of non-Christians (they want our religion!), gays (they want us!), fear of unions (they want to cripple industry!), frankly fear of everything.

Okay, so I’ll go along with everybody else on the terrorists (they do want to kill us, but to fear them is to give them power), but I believe that as far as the rest go, what the blacks and other minorities, immigrants, poor, non-Christians, gays, and unions want is what this country has always promised; a fair chance at the American dream. And honestly, if you think they’ve been given that already, then nothing I say here is going to change your mind, but I do have to ask, why are you still reading?

We’re even supposed to be afraid of our own employers; if we don’t let them do what they want, they’re going to pack up all the rest of the jobs and move them overseas! To me this sounds like capitulation to corporate extortion, and it makes me pretty stinkin’ angry.

Bernie Sanders wants to rebuild our infrastructure. Is there really anybody out there who doesn’t think this is a good idea? Our roads and bridges are falling apart. How is commerce supposed to happen without transportation, and how is transportation going to happen without roads, bridges, railroads, etc?

Bernie Sanders wants to make college possible for every American. Do you think that having a more educated population will hurt this country? I know people who are $50,000, $60,000, or more in debt to graduate from IU East. Single mothers, trying to make a better life for themselves and their families. I know that if I couldn’t have gone to school thanks to the GI Bill, I’d be looking at a pretty bleak and dismal future. I certainly wouldn’t have gone into debt, or at least not that much debt for it, and I know that my future is much brighter, with more possibilities than it would be without this education. Pro-lifer’s used to talk about all the unborn Hemingways, and Beethovens, and Einsteins and Curies who were being aborted. I’m not going to argue with that. I’m going to take that argument one step farther. What about all the budding Hemingways and Beethovens, and Einsteins, and Curies, who are born, but will spend their days working at Walmart, or McDonalds, or on an assembly line because they never had a chance to break out of poverty? To be trained? Our caring shouldn’t stop at birth.

Bernie Sanders wants universal health-care. You think that’s a bad thing? I have a brother who died as an infant because Dad couldn’t afford a doctor, and so he waited too long. That was almost 60 years ago. That, in this country, should not still be an issue. Yes, there will be problems, but it is do-able. It’s already being done. All over the world. By countries who don’t claim to be exceptional. If they can do it, we should be able to, and, I believe we should be able to do it better. I also think about this; yes people can receive care in any emergency room in the country, but that’s emergency care. How many of those emergency room visits could be avoided if people could get preventative care? What about all the communicable diseases that could be curbed by preventative care? I think it could drastically improve the lives of millions of Americans, particularly those in poverty, if done right. I think we can do it right. Maybe not perfectly, but better than anyone else, or at the very least, as well as anyone else.

Bernie Sanders believes in diplomacy. So do I. I’m pretty sure we’re not the only two. Only a complete idiot would believe that carpet-bombing would do anything more than make a bad situation worse. We’ve been wasting the greatest military the world has ever seen in pointless wars with virtually no end in sight, but the Republicans would have us believe that more of that is what we need. Escalation certainly worked in Vietnam, didn’t it? I served in the Air Force for 20 years, and I don’t believe, I know that we have the best military on earth. But military force is not the best tool for every situation, and the old tactics may not work in every situation. To just use our military as the de facto solution to every problem does the men and women in our services a huge disservice. Even the best tool will break when misused. I saw that in my own career, and I’m still unbelievably angry about it. I’ve tried writing about it a number of times, and I just can’t do it.

Think about this; we get our panties in a bunch every time N. Korea, or Iran, or Russia start rattling their sabers. How do you think a shop keeper in Syria, or a student in Iran feels about Cruz, Rubio, Trump, et al’s promises to the American people that we’re going to wipe them out? Knowing that we actually have the capability to do it? Think that might make them feel a little bit leery, a little bit hostile toward us?

Now obviously, there are going to be times when putting our troops in harm’s way will be necessary. But when we do, we need to make sure they have the tools and equipment they need, we need to have a clear plan, and we need to take care of them when they come home battered, bruised, and wounded, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Bernie Sanders believes in that too.

I personally think that income equality is a far greater enemy to the safety and security of this country than ISIS, or any other foreign power or force. Every chart I’ve seen shows the poor and lower-middle class wages have stagnated since the 80’s or 90’s, while the income of the guys at the top of the fiscal food chain looks like the trajectory of a rocket. If a poor man robs a gas station, and hurts no one, he’s going to jail. The big banks have robbed the entire country, and we bailed them out. No one went to jail, or at least no one important. Something’s got to change if we’re going to keep Karl Marx from turning from a radical boogeyman into a prophet.

Bernie Sanders is in favor of implementing renewable energy, like wind and solar, which are becoming more efficient every day. Other countries, like Germany, are making huge strides in this. We, on the other hand, are fracking, breaking up the foundations of the earth, and poisoning our own water, to suck a little more gas out. That’s fracking nuts. Oil, gas, and coal, are the past. I don’t believe we’ll ever completely replace oil and gas, especially in heavy industry applications, but a move to wind and solar could significantly reduce the demand for them, and the hazardous pollution they create, and they could make life so much more livable, especially for the poor. On the reservations in the west and southwest, where every year people freeze to death because they can’t afford fuel, wind and solar power could make a huge difference.

Bernie Sanders wants to do a lot of things that I’m highly in favor of. Do I think he could accomplish them all? No. I’m no starry-eyed dreamer. No one could accomplish all of them. But he could start them. They said the world was going to end when Teddy Roosevelt broke up the trusts and monopolies. It didn’t. They said FDR’s New Deal would reduce the country to wreck and ruin. It didn’t. We used to believe we could do things, great things, things that would make everyone’s lives better. We can believe it again. The best weapon in the war on terrorism and extremism isn’t guns or bombers. It isn’t money. The best weapon in that war is the American Dream itself, making America what it has always claimed to be; a place where any man, woman, or child, can get a fair shake, can become anything they want. A place where everyone can live, a place where even the little guy has a fair chance.

That seems to be what Bernie Sanders stands for, and that’s why I support him.

One last thing; the other candidates seem to think that we need to fear our own government, that the government itself is our enemy. It wants to enslave us, it cripples the economy with unnecessary regulations, it is a greedy, grasping vulture, feasting on the remains of our country. Gun rights wonks swear we need guns to protect us from our own military, the same military that we all, including guns rights wonks, swear we love. This presumes a willingness on the part of the government to order the military to use force against us, and the willingness on the part of that military that we all love, to follow those orders, and on a national scale.

The problem with that line of thinking is that the government is US! At least it’s supposed to be. If it’s not, it’s because we’ve allowed it to be taken out of our hands, usurped by powers that shouldn’t have it. You know what, we can take it back. That’s what voting is for. As Jim Wright says, “If you want a better country, be better citizens.” Get out and vote, even if it’s not for Bernie Sanders! But you should vote for Bernie Sanders. I am.

A Simple Solution to Today’s Problems

December 12, 2015All About Me, Culture, Politics, Politics & Culture, Religionmoonandjess@frontier.com

All day now, actually, for the last two days now, I’ve been trying to write a post on capitalism. Before you panic, I was neither condemning nor condoning it, just discussing it, with a couple of ideas/suggestions that I thought might make it work a little better. I had in my mind a very measured, reasonable, calm, even kind, kind of post; the sort of thing that might make folks on both sides of the fence at least think about both capitalism and socialism in a new light. I didn’t expect to change anybody’s mind, just wanted to throw a few things out there as part of a rational and reasonable discussion.

Sadly, I find myself unable to write that post: I offer instead what is neither a reasonable nor a rational solution to much of what ails our country.

Step One: Shut Up!

Okay, not just Shut Up!, but

SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP!

SHUTUP!SHUTUP!

Seriously. Just shut up. Please. And this includes you meme-sharing drones who think that just because something sounds reasonably witty and agrees with your position that it’s right. And that goes for both sides of the fence. NO MORE MEMES! Whether you think I would agree with them or not! Just SHUT UP!

The other day, somebody shared a meme that was a close-up of a snarling lion’s face, with something about Jesus written over it, I can’t remember exactly what. I do remember that the context was to remind us all that Jesus wasn’t just about love and grace and forgiveness, that he’s coming back soon (apparently in the next couple of weeks), ready to rain down some righteous judgement and retribution. Basically, it was to make Jesus look like a badass. As if being GOD isn’t badass enough. As if forgiving the numbnuts who crucified him WHILE HE WAS HANGING ON THE CROSS wasn’t badass enough. As if CONQUERING DEATH ITSELF wasn’t badass enough.

Yeah, that stock picture of a lion’s gonna convince people.

The same goes for posting and forwarding videos of celebrities who are spouting stupid shit that you agree with. Just because they’re famous (more or less) doesn’t make them either smart or right. I just saw a video with Chuck Woolery – that’s right – Chuck Woolery, the Love Connection guy, in which he purports to prove why he needs an assault rifle. Seriously. Chuck F-‘in Woolery, the “I’ll see you in two and two” guy needs an assault rifle because . . . THE CONSTITUTION! Granted, there’s more to his argument than that, but I had to stop before my head exploded. Don’t get me wrong, Chuck seems like a nice guy, even when he’s fondling a rifle, but he’s just spouting the same tired old shitty arguments that are getting us nowhere. And I’m not saying that Chuck doesn’t need an assault rifle – I’m just saying that there’s room for discussion.

This goes for all you knuckleheads on the left, as well (I just couldn’t think of any memes or videos that annoyed me as much from you guys). Still, just knock it off. Give it a rest. It’s not helping.

Anyway, so that’s step one: Shut Up!

Step Two: Log Off!

Sign out, close your laptop, whatever it takes, but get off the internet!

This is an absolutely critical part of the plan, as the odds of people ceasing to post memes and videos and whatnot are pretty damn’ slim. So just turn it off. Get away from it. I’m not saying leave it forever. Just take a week off. A few days, anyway. Take a walk, get some air. Talk to someone. Have an actual conversation with someone who doesn’t agree with you. Listen to what they have to say, and say what you think without yelling it at them. Believe it or not, not all liberals are drooling, zombified sheep who are planning to take all your guns and freedoms and money away and give it to criminals. Not all conservatives are mouth-breathing, moronic fascists who want to stuff all brown people into cages and shoot everyone who doesn’t look or think like them.

So, let’s review:

Step One: Shut Up!

Step Two: Log Off!

Step Three: Repeat As Necessary!

When you come back to the internet (because you know you’re going to. I know I will; how else am I going to waste time that I should be spending writing?), don’t fall into the same trap we’re in now. Refuse to share memes (unless they have cute, non-partisan cats or dogs, like the “thiberian huthkie” one; That one cracks me and Jess up.). The same goes for videos: if it’s not critters doing something funny or adorable, or people falling down, just don’t share it. If you absolutely must share something, share something you wrote, or something that actually says something, something that is not just parroting back talking points. Actually, we should all probably stick to a blanket critters-and-people-falling-down sharing rule. I’d also like to point out that that whole, “When you point a finger at someone, you’ve got three pointing back at you,” thing totally applies in this case; I’m just as guilty as the rest of you, and I know it.

Sorry, I almost forgot the most important step. Let’s call it Step A.

Step A: Don’t Be An Asshole!

If you look back after taking a few days away from the internet and realize that, indeed, you may have been an asshole, then stop, and avoid the temptation to continue being an asshole. Also, when you see a meme and wonder, “What asshole shared that?” remember that it was probably shared by someone who is really an essentially decent, caring person, albeit one who doesn’t have the sense to follow Step One.

And there you go; problem solved! Well okay, not all of them, there’s still terrorism and mass shootings and abortion and racism and religious bigotry, etc., etc. However, I feel fairly confident that if we could all take a step back and talk to each other, then maybe the whole slash-and-burn-and-salt-the-earth-all-or-nothing-if you’re-not-with-us-you’re-against-us-not-only-that-but-you’re-going-to-hell-too-but-only-after-Jesus-lays-a-major-ass-whuppin’-on-you-personally-first attitude will seem at least a little bit extreme and counterproductive. Maybe then we can tackle some of that other stuff.

American Exceptionalism: I’m Not Sure It Means What Everyone Thinks It Means

August 7, 2015All About Me, Culture, Politics, Politics & Culturemoonandjess@frontier.com

Disclaimer!

This is not a particularly funny post, although I think there is some pretty funny stuff in it. It’s about politics, or at least political issues, so if you’ve had enough of that stuff for a while, do yourself a favor, and skip down to the “Death By Grippo’s” post. Also, there is some stuff in here that some might find offensive (I’m pretty sure the language is okay, but some of the ideas may be a little scary), so be warned. That said, I hope you get a laugh, and more importantly, a think out of it. Enjoy, and, as always, thanks for reading!

American Exceptionalism

American Exceptionalism is one of those terms that gets flung around a lot over the last few years, and with an election coming up, I’m pretty sure that we’re going to be hearing a lot more about it. It’s one of those things that politicians love to talk about in order to show how much they love America (as if the flag pins, flag bunting, images of flags-waving-above-fields-of-grain and fading in and out as backgrounds in campaign ads and Stars-and-Stripes-based logos weren’t enough). They shout about “American Exceptionalism” and “America is the greatest country in the world” and “Americans are the greatest people in the world”. They go on and on about how we do everything better than everybody else in the world. We’re innovators! We’re motivators! We’re tire rotators! (sorry, couldn’t help myself) We’re the Land of the Free, and the Home of the Brave. Yee Haw!

I guess that would be okay, if the people spouting it really seemed to believe it. All too often, however, they then go on to describe how we can’t do things that are already being done all over the world. They go on and on about how those things are going to destroy our country.

Gay Marriage!

Seriously? How can we be so mighty, so awesomely powerful, so incredibly wonderful, and yet letting two people who love each other publicly and legally bind their lives together will bring this great nation to its knees? The weird thing to me is that nobody seemed to care if they cohabitated before this (well, okay, they did, but I don’t recall anybody screaming for laws to prevent it). I also heard a lot of people saying that okay, they should be allowed to have civil unions (the 21st-century equivalent of jumping over a broom), just keep the M-word out of it.

A lot of people are screaming that it is a sign of the moral decay of our nation. But is it? Which is more immoral? To force others to live a life less free than yourself so you can pretend that it doesn’t exist, or to accept that, okay, not everyone believes as I do, but they are no less a person than I? That seems to be what it really comes down to, to me anyway.

I know that a lot of genuinely good people worry about the wrath of God coming down on us as a nation over this, but, as I’ve said before, compared with slavery, Jim Crow, 400+ years of genocide, and polluting the environment so badly that our rivers used to catch on fire, I’m pretty sure that gay marriage is just a fart in the windstorm of American morality. If we’re so exceptional, then shouldn’t equality be a given (since it is one of the founding principles of this country)? I feel fairly confident that the only straight people this whole gay marriage thing is going to significantly effect is straight lawyers who will be making a lot more money, because I’m guessing that gay Americans will prove to be just as inept as straight Americans at picking life-long partners to legally bind themselves to on the first try. On the other hand, maybe they’ll be exceptionally good at it. Wouldn’t that be a kick in the pants?

Keep moving people, nothing to see here.

Socialized Medicine!

If the gay marriage thing doesn’t get us, then socialized medicine will bring the country down for sure. In fact, a lot of people seem to think that Obamacare (which is a long way from real socialized medicine) is the worst thing that has ever happened to this country. It’s going to destroy our economy! Death panels! Blah, Blah, Blah! More Blah, Blah, Blah! We’re all going to die! Well, yeah, I’ll grant you, that last one is true, but it won’t be because of Obamacare. I’ll admit, I’m not a fan of Obamacare. At worst, it’s selling more of the country to insurance companies. At best, I see it as a bad first step in the right direction.But that’s the thing; at least we’re moving in the right direction, which is viewing health-care as a right and a societal responsibility, not a privilege. Just about every other industrialized country on earth seems to see it that way, and it hasn’t destroyed any of them. Granted, it’s far from perfect in most of them, but it works. That’s where the American Exceptionalists should see an opportunity to prove how exceptional we really are. Innovate! Improve! Take what those other countries are doing right, and fix what they’re doing wrong! Now that would be exceptional.

Diplomacy!

As if the gay marriage and the socialized medicine weren’t bad enough, now we’re stooping to diplomacy. We’re doomed! We’re not a diplomacy people, we’re a kill ’em all and let God sort ’em out people. I’m talking, of course, about the Iran deal (dun, dun, dunnnnnn). I’ll grant you, I’m leery of it. I don’t know what’s in it. On the other hand, none of it’s detractors did either before they started trumpeting it as the other other worst thing that’s ever happened in the history of, well, history. What I do know is that England, France, China, and Russia all worked on it too, and none of them (or anyone else in the world) stands to benefit from the religious whackado’s in charge of Iran’s government getting nuclear weapons. I also know that none of our other recent wars in the middle east have exactly worked out the way we were told they would. I feel fairly confident that getting to the point where we can sit across the table from Iran and talk seems infinitely more promising than screaming threats at each other and vowing to destroy each other.

As a veteran, I am confident in the exceptionalism of our armed forces. I also think we’ve asked more than enough of them for the time being. We should use our military as a last resort, because we have to, not because, well, it’s fun to blow stuff up. I feel like maybe it’s time to give our diplomats a shot at being exceptional as well.

Renewable Energy!

If we somehow manage to stave off the complete and utter destruction brought on by gay marriage/socialized medicine/diplomacy, we’ll still be screwed by the push for renewable energy. Now I know that the chances of powering the entire country with wind and/or solar energy or whatever else they’re coming up with (I saw something about electricity-generating algae the other day) is pretty unlikely, even in a best case scenario. But it could help a whole lot of people. Out in S. Dakota, on Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, a place tailor-made for wind and solar power, there are hundreds of people who spend a large part of every year without electricity, because they can’t pay the bills (I’ve seen statistics that show median household income on Pine Ridge Reservation anywhere from $2,600 – $7,000/year). I’m thinking that putting up some windmills and solar farms out there could significantly improve the lives of the people there.

I know people say, “Oh, what about the jobs lost? All those coal miners and oil field workers put out of work?” They’re right. It would be a significant change, and a lot of miners and oil field workers might have to find new jobs. But that has always been the case with progress (when was the last time you needed a farrier?).

Anyway, I could go on and on, but I’ll spare you.

What They Seem To Think American Exceptionalism Means

What “They” (and by “they”, I mean pretty much every candidate running for office, republican or democrat) seem to think American Exceptionalism means is this: A handy catchphrase that I can throw out there to make all those people that I wouldn’t give the time of day to if I weren’t running for office feel good about themselves and think I’m the guy who has their best interests at heart.

What Everyone Else Seems To Think American Exceptionalism Means

What I’ve gathered from talking to people (and reading their posts on social media) on all sides of the political/religious/economic fences seem to think it means is this: Americans are exceptional, EXCEPT for everyone who isn’t just like me. We are incredibly good (exeptionally good, you might say) at vilifying and demonizing everyone who doesn’t immediately and wholly agree with us. We are exceptionally good at being offended by anything that presents us with a differing opinion, while at the same time being exceptionally amazed that anyone could possibly be offended by anything we ourselves say or do. This is how we manage to be offended by rainbow flags (which are at least ostensibly about freedom, even if it’s just the freedom to be yourself), and yet insist on our right as Americans to fly a Rebel Flag (a flag designed and flown in support of rebellion against the nation and white supremacy).

I take comfort in the fact that, despite what views they seem to subscribe to, their actions belie their words. Virtually all of the people who say and post the things that I am pretty much completely opposed to are, despite their different opinions, good-hearted, decent, generous, and kind people, who would go out of their way to help a stranger in need, regardless of that stranger’s any race, creed, color, sexual orientation, or position on any of the issues that politicians use to divide us.

What I Think American Exceptionalism Means

I would say that the previous two sentences pretty much sums up what I think it means, except for the fact that I’ve seen people all over the world, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Atheists, Gays, Straights, Conservatives, Liberals, and people of pretty much every type imagineable do exactly the same thing. What it really comes down to, for me anyway, is this: Thanks to being American, and the freedoms we all too often take for granted, we have more opportunities to BE exceptional. We are born with the chance to do really exceptional things. We have the opportunity to be exceptionally kind, exceptionally generous, exceptionally loving and caring. We have the opportunity to live up to, and to help others achieve, the American ideals of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness for all, not just those like “me”.

That, I think, would be truly exceptional.

Tips For Happy Living: Don’t Worry About A Thing

July 7, 2015All About Me, Culture, Home Life, Politics, Politics & Culture, Religion, Wivesmoonandjess@frontier.com

” ‘Cause every little thing

Gonna be all right”

That Bob Marley was a smart guy.

Happy living is an elusive bird. We all want it, but it seems like no one wants us to have it. It’s kind of aggravating.

Lately, I’ve been kind of worked up about things. It seems like the world is just spinning out of control. Confederate flags, gay marriage, dozens of people shot over the July 4th weekend in Chicago, violence of every sort run amok, churches burning, terrorists, conspiracy theorists screaming that Obama’s invading Texas, it’s just nuts. And everywhere you look, somebody’s got the answer: Take down that flag, leave it alone, give the gays equal rights, gay marriage will destroy traditional marriage, ban guns, make everyone carry a gun, stricter laws, we need better prisons, we need worse prisons, seal the borders, do what I say, I’m the one with all the right answers. It doesn’t matter where you look, FOX, MSNBC, CNN, NPR, the Facebook, Twitter. Everyone’s got the answer, or knows someone who does. Just watch this video . . .

It’s kept me stirred up for several weeks now. I’ve started several posts presenting powerful arguments capable of crushing all opposition to my viewpoints. Being predisposed toward irascibility and somewhat pugnacious in temperament, I just can’t seem to help myself. I seem lately to just be looking for things to make me angry. I read articles that I know are biased, and often blatantly false, and then, just in case I’m not angry enough, I read the comments too. Sometimes I think there is something very, very wrong with me (and those of you who know me will probably agree). Unfortunately, rage is the one emotional I am truly comfortable with. Also unfortunately, I’m not alone in this. Everyone seems to be angry about something, or several somethings, usually at least one or two from the list above, or something that someone else said about something from the list above.

In fact, anger is a growth industry right now. There’s gold in them thar internet flame wars. Frankly, that’s one of the things that makes me angry. Vast fortunes are being made by making people angry, and I can’t seem to get a piece of the action. My last post was, I thought, at least fairly controversial. I even went so far as to actively solicit responses. I did everything but beg people to comment. Now I’ll admit that my intentions were good, and I genuinely wanted to hear what people thought, but still, I thought I’d at least get some hot interweb troll action. I mean, if there’s one thing I’m usually pretty good at (besides telling fart stories), it’s pissing people off.

I have to say that the response was pretty disappointing, overall. First of all, there really weren’t many comments at all, and those that I did get were uniformly civil, well-thought out (even the ones that disagreed with me), and even loving. Even the woman I had offended (the basis of the post), messaged me on the Facebook, a very civil, kind, and generous response. It was really kind of disappointing (admittedly in a sick and twisted way).

On the other hand, it did confirm what I had always suspected; that the vast majority of people are generally kind, generous, and decent. Even those with whom I vehemently disagree. I hate to admit it, but I think Anne Frank was right: “Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.”

It troubles me that I see and hear so many swearing that we are in the End Times. That God has abandoned us because we have abandoned Him. The sentiment that, because of gay marriage, “persecution” of WASPS by minorities, and the fact that, okay, maybe you should think about what that Rebel flag bumper sticker on your truck really stands for, the world just can’t get any worse. It’s just not true. The world can get worse. It has been much worse. Yes, there are still a lot of things that are wrong. There are still a lot of things that need to be fixed. But my feeling is (and I know I’m no kind of religious expert) that if God didn’t abandon us because of 400 years of genocide, 300 or 400 years of slavery, 150 years (give or take) of institutionalized racism (complete with lynchings, rape, and murder), along with a number of land grabs, imperialism, and war profiteering, all committed frequently in His name, or according to His will (or rather our interpretation of it), then letting a few gays get married is probably not going to put him off of us, either.

I see and hear a lot of Christians hollering, “Please Jesus, come back soon,” and I can understand the sentiment, but if I’m honest, I’m not really in that big a rush for it. When he does come back, we’ll have eternity, but for now, I’m not through with this life yet. There are way too many books I haven’t read, too many fart stories I haven’t written. I haven’t told my wife, the lovely and all-round best woman ever, Jess, how much I love her enough times yet. I haven’t lain awake at night listening to her snore enough. I haven’t hugged my grandkids enough. There are too many places I haven’t been, too many things I haven’t seen. I haven’t written enough, or worked enough, or played enough yet. Maybe I’m wrong for feeling this way, but God gave me this life for a reason. He gave us this world with all its wonders for a reason, and I don’t think it was to just mark time until he came back.

Anyway, I know that you probably only read this blog for the fart stories (don’t worry, I’ll get back to ’em), and I didn’t mean to get all heavy with my half-assed theology. Sorry. This is all just stuff that I needed to get off my chest. The thing about being angry all the time is, it’s exhausting. It saps your energy, your will to live. I don’t know about you, but it wears me out, and really makes it hard to write the fart stories, which are, frankly, much more fun.

So last night, I was in bed (calm down ladies), reading The Ball and the Cross, by G.K. Chesterton, and I read a passage that really brought it all home to me; “The whole peace of the world was pent up painfully in his heart. The new and childlike world which he had seen so suddenly, men had not seen at all. Here they were, still at their old bewildering, pardonable, useless quarrels, with so much to be said on both sides, and so little that need be said at all.” That seems like a pretty apt description of today, with the fear-mongering 24-hour news networks blaring out their prophecies of doom, and alleged “satire” news websites promulgating panic-inducing videos, and ourselves buying into it all, and joining in by smearing our fears and petty hatreds across the Facebook, insisting that “everyone needs to see this”. Well, guess what. We don’t. Neither do you. Give it a rest. Give yourself a break. And trust me, I know I’m just as guilty of this as you are, but I’m working on it.

I think that’s why I never finished any of those argumentative posts I wrote about earlier. Deep down, I knew it was pointless, and that it would just add to the problem. It would be a better world if everyone quit arguing, and spent some time actually thinking, because, believe it or not, not everyone who has a Rebel flag bumper sticker is a racist. Liberals who point at the south and jeer them as racist rednecks should listen to Randy Newman’s “Rednecks” (a word of caution, it contains offensive language, but it’s contextually necessary, not gratuitous. Also, you have to actually LISTEN to ALL THE LYRICS in order to get the point he’s getting at.). Also, if you are a proud displayer of the Rebel flag, you probably should spend some time thinking about what that flag really means, what it is telling people about you, and whether it’s true.

Christians, not every gay person wants to ruin our marriages (admit it, we were doing that just fine without any help from them). Gays, not every Christian belongs to Westboro Baptist Church. We don’t all hate you or want you to go to hell (Sorry, I don’t have a song for this one).

The point is; well, I guess the point is that we all have a point, and we’d be better off thinking carefully about them before taking our hats off and showing them to the world. Get off the Facebook, and read an actual book. Concentrate on the things you love more than the things you hate. In the words of Ray Wylie Hubbard, “the days when I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations . . . well I have really good days.”

Be grateful: Happy living tip #1.

Point 1.

Point 2:

Point 3:

Point 4:

Conclusion:

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Definition of Colonization:

A Little Evidence:

How They’ve Done It:

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Step One: Shut Up!

SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP!

SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP!SHUTUP!

SHUTUP!SHUTUP!

Step Two: Log Off!

Step Three: Repeat As Necessary!

Step A: Don’t Be An Asshole!

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Disclaimer!

American Exceptionalism

Gay Marriage!

Socialized Medicine!

Diplomacy!

Renewable Energy!

What They Seem To Think American Exceptionalism Means

What Everyone Else Seems To Think American Exceptionalism Means

What I Think American Exceptionalism Means

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