Yes, I have written a novel (cue fanfare). It’s called Thumperica! a novel of the Ghost of America Future, and it’s currently available on amazon.com as an ebook.
It’s a dystopian satire that deals with the United States of America in the years 2183-84, based solely on what seems to me to be the direction the country is going right now. For some, it’s an awesome place: the Church of America is the official religion, the Holy Bible has been replaced by the Holy Pamphlet (much less arguing about interpretation), renewable energy has been cast out, minorities know their place and keep to it, women are largely out of the workplace (and those that aren’t are in lingerie), Organized crime is a thing of the past, all those pesky environmental and health-related regulations have been removed, and patriotism is rampant (those who have trouble with that concept are either in prison or retraining camps). Overpopulation is no longer a problem: World population has dropped approximately 60% due to war, famine, and pestilence. Virtually everything has been privatized, including the military. ThumpCorp is the President in Perpetuity of the United States TM, and its CEO, Caligula Thump is the hereditary “God’s Appointed Messenger on Earth”. Everything is going great, just ask anyone (and if they say it’s not, make sure to report them, so they can get the necessary retraining!)
But everything has its downside: the country has also splintered into seven different countries – the New Confederate States of America (same as the last time, plus W. Virginia and Kentucky, minus Texas), Texas, Cascadia (California, Washington, Oregon, & Idaho), Zion (Utah, Nevada, and Arizona), The Indian Nations (pretty much from the Mississippi to the Rockies, and Texas to Canada), The United States of America (New England), and The United States of America, TM.
Still, it seems that everyone is not happy. Three WENCHes (Wonderfully Endowed, Naturally Cheerful Hostesses) can’t take the abuse from their employer anymore, and end up in a hostage situation they are completely unprepared for. A Church of America Pastor returns from a diplomatic mission with something so dangerous it could shake the Church to its foundations – A Holy Bible (the full version, that even includes the words of Christ!). An underground resistance movement, the AARP (Americans Actively Resisting Persecution), led by a blowhard and a bookish acronymologist are working diligently, but incompetently to overthrow the oligarchy.
It all comes to a head at Executionpalooza! Redawn of American Justice!!!
Will the women escape and make their way to a better life? Will Pastor Paul resist the temptations of success to save the Church? Will the AARP ever get a cooler name? The answer to these and other burning questions can be yours if you buy the book!
How’s that for a sales pitch? If you do buy the book, I hope you’ll enjoy it (although hate-reading it is also perfectly acceptable). Its action-packed, bloody, probably at least borderline heretical, and very funny. At any rate, I hope you’ll give it a try, and if you like it, please tell others about it.
Disclaimer:
There is lots and lots of bad language, weird sex stuff, violence, substance abuse, and general vileness: it is not a nice book, but it does have a happy ending, and there is a reason for all the vileness. If you are sensitive to the stuff listed above, I strongly suggest you give it a pass.
Now you see why I need an agent so badly: I’m really bad at self-promotion.
Anyway, enjoy!
HAHA Ok, gonna have to check this out. 😀
Wow, congratulations on the publishing of your book! I think I got a great overview of it though by just reading what you wrote above as I’m the sensitive type and probably won’t buy it, LOL
I just got back from your part of the country, Indiana, to see my nephew graduate from Culver Academy and visited a friend in Franklin, TN. I was amazed at the Civil War history back there and had never heard of the Battle of Nashville nor the Battle of Franklin. It just made it more real and personal to me what those men did seeing it in person rather than reading it from a book. I was so amazed as seeing some of the homes where the battles were fought on their front yards and there are still bullet holes in the walls of the buildings and in one house blood stains on the wood floor as the house served as a hospital for the soldiers. History, for me, sure comes alive when you are actually there, traveling is a great learning experience. I found myself thanking them for what they did so I could live in this country and go on a vacation.
Good luck on the sale of your book.