Hi there, and welcome back to my blog. This is the 1st in an ongoing series that will examine things I don’t understand, and why I don’t understand them. I find as I get older, the list of things I don’t understand gets longer and longer, so this may be a lengthy series. I want to say here at the outset, that I’m not meaning to condemn or judge anyone, because I’m just as guilty as anyone about a lot of these. If, at some point, I do want to condemn or judge anyone (and lets face it, I probably won’t be able to help myself), I’ll try to make it pretty obvious. Enjoy!
Things I don’t understand #1: Tattoos
I just don’t understand. I’ve known a lot of people with tattoos, in fact, many of my favorite people have them. And I’m not talking about the “normal” military tattoos. Those I understand. I even kind of understand prison tattoos or those Russian mob tattoos. I personally think they’re kind of like walking around with a billboard saying, “Attention police personell! I am a criminal! Make sure you keep an eye on me!!!,” but, you know, to each his own. At the very least, those tattoos have some actual significance.
What I’m talking about is the tattoos all these young kids (and some not so young) are getting. Like tribal tattoos. It’s one thing if you’re an actual member of an actual tribe, and that’s your tribe’s thing, or you’re an actual 7th century Celtic warrior, but most of the people who I’ve seen with them should be getting a wasp as a tribal tattoo. If I was a guessing man (and I am), I’d guess that very few of them could even trace their geneology back more than two generations.
I looked up tribal tattoos on the interweb, just to make sure I was talking about what I thought I was talking about. Yep, I was. You know what I’m talking about, those twisty, cur-le-que ones with all the pointy bits. I looked up some sites to see what they meant. I didn’t get much information on what they actually mean, but I did find out that they’re supposed to make you look valiant, courageous, tough, fertile (who would want to advertise that?), religious, and (this is my favorite one) ethnic.
For more info on tribal tattoo meanings, here’s a place to start. http://stylesatlife.com/articles/best-tribal-tattoo-designs/
I thought you were what made you look ethnic. I mean, look at me. I don’t need a tattoo to let people know what tribe I’m a part of. I’m obviously a member of the Doughboy tribe. I don’t need a tattoo to warn people that I belong to a dangerous tribe. It’s pretty obvious that there are tons of us. So watch what you say.
Then there’s the universally-acknowledged stupidity of getting your boyfriend/girlfriend’s name tattooed on yourself. I don’t think I’ve ever known anybody that thought that was a good idea. Especially people who’ve had it done. And yet, people just keep on doing it. I’ll also add in getting any band name, celebrity’s name or face and things like that into this category. Let’s face it, most of the people who get these tattoos have trouble committing to a game system for more than a year, but “I’m gonna love you forever!!!,” or they’re gonna love Dale Earnhart Jr. forever, or Justin Bieber, or Green Day. Too obvious product placement in a movie or TV show annoys me, but it’s big money, so I can understand why they do it. I just don’t understand why someone would pay to do that to themself.
I also don’t get the “it expresses who I am on the inside, the real me” tattoo. Seriously? On the inside, the real you is a unicorn? Are you saying you don’t really exist? The same applies for the innumerable tattoos of teddy bears, kittens, dolphins, roses, skulls, lions, sharks, etc. A tattoo isn’t going to make you cute, or cuddly, or sensitive. It’s certainly not going to make you a badass. Most of the real badasses I’ve ever known, you never knew they were a badass until it was too late (for you, that is).
If a tattoo could make you something you’re not, then I’d just get two full-length tattoos of skinny guys and be thin siamese twins. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about losing weight anymore.
Or how about the broken heart tattoo? Now I’ll admit I’ve done a lot of stupid things, romantically speaking, but, to tell the truth, some of the people I was doing those stupid things with had broken heart tattoos, and it didn’t seem to slow them down. I get all the reminders I need of the stupid things I’ve done by just looking in the mirror (here’s a hint for all of you recently broken-hearted: you never forget. The best you can do is get over it, and don’t do it again. A tattoo isn’t gonna help with that.)
Tramp stamps are pretty much incomprehensible to me. Why get a tattoo that you can’t even see? How do you even know they gave you what you want until it’s too late? I suppose some think it’s sexy. I’ll even concede that on some women, it is, but honestly, I’d think it would ultimately just be distracting.
When it comes to kids, the worst is the “I’m gonna piss off mom or dad” tattoo. Kids do a lot of stupid things to piss off their parents. Besides tattoos, They do all kinds of weird stuff with their hair, they get their ears, noses, lips, tongues, eyebrows, and pretty much anything else that you can shove a needle through pierced, etc., and all of those things work equally well. The only difference is hair will grow out. Earrings and piercings come out. They’ll piss your folks off, but won’t keep you from getting a good job later.
I know tattoos are becoming more and more popular all the time. There are magazines and even TV shows devoted to them. Like I said, most of my favorite people in the world have tattoos, and most are quite happy about them, even proud of them. The tattoos don’t affect how I feel about them, or what I think of them. I just don’t understand the appeal. If you do, feel free to comment below, and help me understand (or just tell me I’m being an pinhead. It’s ok, I can take it. I’ve got pretty thick skin, even without a tattoo of a rhino to prove it).
Coming soon!!!
More stuff I don’t understand
Like
Why do they put the toilet paper dispensers below the rail in handicapped bathroom stalls?
Why does anybody care what Donald Trump, Ted Nugent, or really, any of those guys have to say?
Why do websites like Facebook, Netflix, etc., keep moving things?
Why do I actually know so few of my Facebook friends?
Why am I, and apparently everybody else in the world, so fascinated with Facebook?
and much, much more. Let’s face it, there is virtually no end to the things I don’t understand.
Happy reading!
LOL Well my husband has 10 of them, and he’ll be the first to admit that the real reason is that he’s addicted to them. But then he has an addictive personality. He’s also the first to point out that if you’re going to get them, be smart about where you put them. He has one on each forearm, and one summer he had a job at a Saturn dealership that required he wear long sleeve shirts to cover them up . . . .outside . . .in San Diego.
Very funny stuff, looking forward to your other pet peeves. 😀
Yeah, when I was in the military, they changed the rules, and it caused a lot of problems for people, especially for females with tattoos on their legs who worked in admin jobs and wore skirts to work. I also know one girl who got married and ended up having to have “void” tattooed over an ex’s name. Anyway, glad you liked it. Thanks for reading.
Been enjoying your blog! The “void” tattoo is pretty funny… so much better than simply having the tattoo removed!!
Joe,yeah, at least she found a humorous way of dealing with it. She’s a pretty smart girl. Glad you’re enjoying the blog. Thanks for reading.
I never understood tattoos either. I feel they are some sort of status symbol. Almost everything we purchase to wear correlates with what we are trying to represent. A man buys a rolex not because he actually feels it’s worth 10k but because it represents underlying things about himself. These are purchased status symbols and will not give you super powers or change the person you are… they can fool people for a little while , but ultimately you either find yourself or buy yourself.
I got all of my tattoos simply because I wanted them, and everyone of them means something to me. Visual reminders of things I don’t ever want to forget. Of course I do have the one that is just there because it’s hilarious to me.
Never met a person with both a tattoo and at least a minimal level of self confidence. It’s one or the other. Tattoos make it easy for me to screen out potential friends, people I’d take advice from, people I’d have watch my children, people I’d hire and people I’d offer help to. Thanks tattoo people, you just make it easier for people to not have to deal with you are your self esteem issues.